Have you ever been left wondering where the unfulfilled dream of a parent resides? It is found deposited somewhere as a new dream for their children. Long before the child discovers the meaning of life, the unfulfilled parent begins to nurse a new ambition. It starts of as a need to stop the child making the same mistakes they made. The need to save the child overshadows the need to let the child be. It then carries on until the child loses his/her dream and lives the one the parent decides is best!
Their opinion is that they know the best way the child has to live. They say they know all the perfect courses the child has to follow. After all as parents, they are armed with the gift of hindsight. They realise all too well where each road or path the child steps into will lead.
Is it really our sense of reason at work here? Is it truly the sense of protection we have for our children that makes us hold them back? Could we be developing the need to live out our unfulfilled desires through our children? Perhaps we have begun to see our children as blank slates to rewrite our wrongs with or even as an opportunity to undo the mess we made of our own lives. Are we squeezing them so tightly that they gasp for the air of freedom?
Maybe this blank slate is not really ours to draw. Maybe it is for them to find their own strokes? Perhaps these mistakes are theirs to make and ours to guide not guard them from. They will never find their feet if we never let them walk. Mistakes are part of learning. By catching them every time they fall, they will never stand firm enough on their own. When they know we will never let go, they will either run far away or stay too close.
If you have a dream you could not fulfil with your life, fix yourself so that you don’t encroach on your child’s life. If your slate of life is filled, clear it up to make room for new dreams. If you clogged your life with junk in the past, even all your children’s lives will not be enough to rewrite yours.
By living your dream, you are the only one that is made happy. By filling up their slate, you leave them with the wrong example. The next victim will be yet another un-born child. So the cycle continues until they find themselves existing, yet not truly living.