People come in different shapes and sizes, some big, some small, tall, short, fat, slim, ugly, beautiful but I am most fascinated by people who seem most unapproachable. Do you know them? The ones who you find on their own when you walk into a room full of people. You scan through and find them looking like they would rather be somewhere else. They even complete the look with an “upset air”. Everyone tries to avoid them. Wet blankets they are called. Finding a quarrel to pick with everyone around. Not in the least helpful, looking troubled.
I am fascinated because, I like to think that there is an element of humanity left in everyone. I also feel that looks can be deceptive. Some people put up a front as a result of bad experiences and lack of trust, thus, feeling the need to hold on to themselves. They fear that even an eruption of a smile on their lips may be taken for a weakness. They build an impenetrable wall around themselves. They smile as they see people shudder and tremble with discomfort all around them. They feel triumphant “yes”, they think “I can now be left alone!”
Well, the bad news for them is that, when I arrive, I am not put off by their antisocial character, rather, I keep being friendly until I reach out to that person – The man in the wall.
All I see is a lovely person trapped within that shell. Time and time again, I have found that with patience, tolerance and at times tears, I gain their trust. Do you know what I find? I find that some of the best, kindest, loveliest people are wrapped in this shell of hostility. It is the product of all the pains, grudges, knock-backs and tears they have shed because of supposedly kind people like you and me who have constantly taken them for granted.
If you are one of those people behind the wall, try not to rule the whole world out as potential heart breakers. I agree that you have constantly had bad experiences, but the good news is that amidst the sea of people that flow through life, those bad ones are only a minority. Too few for you to perfectly generalize and too few to hide away your beautiful self from the majority of good people out there who will treat you right. You need to give them a chance.
It is interesting how you get only what you give. Have you stopped lately to think that this new “defensive” wall you have erected may be the reason why people have now continued to run from you? If you give love, chances are that you will get love, if you give hate, you will definitely get hate back in return. Let’s give one another a chance, live and let live.
Some people ask me, “How can you stand being around that queer person?”, or, “I can’t believe this person did this nice thing”. Well, there is nothing special about me. We all have it in us to be patient and tolerant if we see beyond all the walls erected around people. Like everything in life nothing good comes easily. Hard work and perseverance are also needed when dealing with people. While I cannot claim to have complete mastery of the minds of peculiar people, I am hoping that by showing them some love, care and acceptance, you can reach out to the man in the wall.
Photo credit: Pixabay