Well as the title suggests, today, I stretched a bit too far. However, I can bet with you that is not in any way what you think. It’s not my finances, time or anything that (normal) people stretch but it was good old me that was stretched! When I say good old me, It is 100% me! Well I woke up this morning bright and early – early riser and all that (yay!) as I have become since I became a parent carer. You know the funny thing about that is that my brain tends to wake me way before the alarm clock (and unnecessarily at that because today as you know, I am in a hospital ward where that is done by the lovely nurses). Well my frustration did not reduce my need to do what I always do. I did what I have done from time immemorial against every giggle, advice or look from my disapproving parents, siblings, husband and wait for it… kids! Yes, silly kids that I once provided accommodation for (pregnancy and all that).
Yes you heard right… I stretched. In the mornings when I wake up I always treat myself to a satisfying stretch. Like a cat (holla to all the cat women out there !!! ) I always stretch. For all you stretch haters out there, as silly as this might sound, a stretch is the true meaning of being alive. It puts the “WAKE” into A-wake. It should be an art form because skilled stretchers like me can bend and twist into different shapes and positions. Do you know what the most prestigious part is? It is not a skill you can learn but a TA-lent (shaking my head up and down) that only a few of us are blessed with. Stretching is a bit like marmite… You can either stretch or you CAN’T! There is no room in between for fence sitters (blowing raspberries). A good stretch cannot even be rushed because after you execute a proper stretch you literally feel taller- no make that longer. In summary, a real stretch makes you ready to say “bring it on!” to your day.
Well, just because I think you now have an idea about what a stretch means to me, we will continue (smiling). So I was enjoying one of my innocent stretches this morning when
KRRRRrrrrrr…….. Something snapped!
Next came the panic as I was hit by an excruciating pain garnished with a swallowed scream. I know others might call that scream muffled but it will not be a befitting description for the scream I just experienced. It was the type of scream where you open your mouth wide, draw the breath to scream out but at the same time, realise that your child is sleeping next to you, you do two things at the same time.
- Take a big blink or better still squeeze your eyes shut and
- Squeeze your mouth shut, letting not even as much as a sigh but swallowing very hard
The next thing I felt was a ripple as goosebumps covered every inch of my body in a rippling way. I finished off the experience with very quick panting like the type we are taught in ante-natal class (I know the mums and nice dads who attended antenatal will know the panting i am talking about). I felt like the “Tom” in Tom and Jerry cartoons after yet another crash into one of Jerry’s traps with green wind escaping from my ears and eyes. I managed to hold in green wind from escaping my bottom (eeeurhh).All these happened in splits of seconds and I heard that internal scream reach deep into my soul and allowed the hot flush flow down into my tippy-toes.
I automatically removed my palms from beside me and relocated them right behind my neck cupping them as my head seemed to get heavier Amidst all these, an interesting thing was happening in my head. I began hearing voices. At that point I was not sure why. It was either my nearly broken neck was affecting my brain or all my haters were haunting me. I felt like i could hear them in my head laughing hahaha… that serves you right! Well to be fair they could have gone all Awww…. bless you on the outside but I bet they would have laughed secretly at my expense.
Anyway, as I bore my pain and approached the nurses station, hoping for a remedy, neck in hand, I narrated my ordeal amidst their giggles and pity, I began feeling uneasy. A sense of grief enveloped me as I listened to the ladies tell their stretch tales one by one. It was a secret sadness that I could not even bring myself to express. It had nothing to do with the pain I was still feeling. It was just because I felt lost. I had not actually managed to stretch completely before the accident. I felt shorter- Crinkled like a sheet. Squeezed like a piece of paper. Rumpled like an item of clothing desperately in need of a nice ironing to bring it to life. In fact I also was worried that I looked different- In an unstretched kind of way. Suddenly I remembered that I found my first grey hair last week. Could this be old age. Panic struck me! could this type of mishap be what i had to become accustomed to post-grey-hair and all that?
So this is actually a cry for help! I need some tips on how to survive the next few unstretched days before my neck comes back to life.
Cheers for reading.
Photo credit: Pixabay
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