Falling out of love…with love. By Ezimen


 

So here is this seemingly innocent dude. He believed in “love and living happily ever after”. Once in his life he found the one. Little did he know that he was about to be introduced into a world of heartbreak, deceit, lust and sex. In fairness to him, he kept striving to find the one as he had always pictured (oh yes… guys do that too!) but he kept giving love. Life kept taking from him and giving him nothing in return. A series of events had redefined this young lad and built him to be who he was- someone who had fallen out of love with LOVE.

Here is strike one – Guy meets girl, and for the purpose of clarity we shall call the beautiful lady Sharon and the guy Zuchi. Sharon was a goddess; she was so pretty that it scared him. They both met at a matriculation event where he got introduced to her by his sister as her course mate. From that moment he could barely take his eyes off her. Zuchi made small talk and found out that she was also funny and smart. The day went on better than he had hoped. Sadly like every good thing that comes to an end, so did the day!

He wondered if knowing Sharon should end with the day but decided against it. He realised that if he played his cards right, then it could be the start of something beautiful. Sharon began to make her way home. As she started to leave he reached for her hand. He looked down at her and asked if he could see her again. She said she was going to be busy over the next couple of weeks and so could not assure him of her availability. Well at least, it was not a no! Therefore, he settled for her number.

The next couple of weeks and months were blissful. They spent most of the time talking and texting non-stop on the phone. He tried to arrange a proper date but that didn’t happen as quickly as he had hoped. School was in full swing and both parties got busy with their respective schedules.  One evening, Zuchi decided to find time to visit her at her hostel. That was the best decision. It became easier for them to see each other more often. They always met up after classes and just talked. At other times they took walks, sometimes they even ate together. They just enjoyed each other’s company. He got a little carried away with their arrangement thinking that all he needed to do was profess his love for her and she would be his forever.

Luckily, he came up with a plan to tell her exactly how he felt about on Valentine’s Day. Zuchi got the perfect gift and headed to Sharon’s hostel to unburden his heart. He could finally get the woman he had always wanted to call his. When he got there he met two dudes already there to see her. Zuchi was surprised because he had informed Sharon the day before that he was coming to spend the day with her and she had agreed. He didn’t mind though as he acknowledged the guys’ presence.

He went in to greet Sharon with a peck but she ducked and opted instead for a side hug. At that moment he began to reassess the scenario he had walked into. Zuchi kept telling himself that he was over analysing it all. He spent the next half hour trying to make conversation with her but she seemed to split her attention seamlessly amongst her three guests. After a while, Zuchi just decided to end the most awkward experience he had ever been in. He reached into his pocket brought out his gift and gave it to her. She collected it from him and smiled.

She mouthed the words “happy Valentine’s  Day dear”,  and then Zuchi left.

Zuchi left the room thinking and contemplating every second he had just spent in her hostel. He told himself that he would get another opportunity to tell her that he was in love with her.

That night he decided to tell her everything. He couldn’t wait till the next time they were together. It was 9.59 pm when he left his room.  He headed straight to Sharon’s. All through the journey, he kept rehearsing his lines and trying make them as smooth as ever. In reality, he didn’t care too much about the delivery. All he hoped for was the courage to say all he had to say. He had held back his feelings every minute and every second he was with her.

Zuchi got to Sharon’s door but hesitated for a second or two. He could hear Coldplay’s “In my place” playing lightly in the background.

“Yes, the stars are aligning for this” he thought to himself.

The mood was definitely right for him to pour his heart out to her. With a deep breath he knocked on the door.

“oh!!!!!! Bimpe don’t come back here to ask for anything again”, Sharon barked.

Bimpe was Sharon’s nosey neighbour who was always borrowing one thing or the other even up to food items.

Sharon opened the door with a frown that quickly turned into shock as soon as she realised that it wasn’t Bimpe at the door. She looked straight at him and started shaking uncontrollably. He moved to hold the shaking arm with which she held the door. Zuchi was also trying to understand her reaction to seeing him. She looked like she had seen a ghost. He tried to go in but she didn’t move. She stood firm, blocking him with the door slightly open now as he held her arm. Zuchi then opened the door wide so he could hold her as she seemed like she was about to completely fall off balance. She was muttering stuff he couldn’t understand. In the dim light he could see a completely naked guy on her bed beckoning her to return and ignore the incessant disturbances from the annoying neighbour.

Zuchi stood glued to the spot, his hands visibly trembling as he fought the words that were forming on his lips. He was devastated. Even in the dimly lit room, he recognised the fellow instantly as one of the guys he met in the room earlier on. It felt like he had been punched in the gut by someone twice his size. He turned around and left the room. All he could wonder on his long walk back home was why this was happening. In short how did this happen? Nothing he could think of made any sense. The next day Sharon ran out first thing in the morning to his place to ask for his forgiveness. She came to apologise for hurting him claiming that she didn’t mean to.

Half the time he could barely hear anything she had to say. To him his world was already over and she had squeezed the remaining breath he still had in his lungs by coming over trying to justify and apologise for her actions. Zuchi quietly asked her to leave and she was hurt. As she left, she could see that she had inflicted a pain that would take a lifetime for the naïve guy Zuchi to get over.

This experience set the tone for what was to follow, Zuchi’s subsequent failures at love and his complete metamorphosis into someone who fell completely out of love with love. He attributed it all to this singular experience which he had a very long time ago.

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About the author : Ezimen is a professional in the daytime. He loves writing, travelling and having fun!

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