Dreadlocs or Not? : Still on the faux Locs (7)

Still on the Faux locks

The dread worms had lasted 5 weeks but now they looked like hell. Normally, my hair frizzed for Lagos (That’s when I lived there). Since I moved continents from the tropics to this temperate region, it frizzed for Europe. When the nice lady made my dread worms she said to wait 6 weeks before the next appointment.


Luckily, I discovered the faux locks a few days ago. Why wait any longer? I thought.

I secretly sent her a message to secure an appointment.

Easy peezy right?

Well, not with this woman. She asked me to send her pictures of the hair.

I began looking for the brightest part of my living room to capture the hair. I needed her to see the frizz in the hair. Knowing her, she would not book the appointment if it was not ready to be re twisted. She was such a dread lock guru and from all my previous discussions and consultations with her, she was all about naturally nurturing the hair to reach it’s full potential. Yeah man!


Luckily, I was able to capture all the ugliness I needed to secure an appointment. It was to be 2 days later and I was so happy. I spent most of the evening contemplating on wether to ask her about the faux locks by text or in person. The thought that I could actually install the locks in 2 days was so exciting. Why wait? Was it not my money? My hair?


We were sitting in the living room watching a movie when I decided to send her a message

We were sitting in the living room watching a movie when I decided to send her a message. You know how messages help cut out all the small talk? That’s exactly why I sent it instead of calling.


ME: “I have a question Susan, sorry to bother you. I want to ask about permanent faux locks ( at this point I was thinking that there must have been temporary faux locks and I did not want any misunderstanding. Meanwhile, the excitement was building up. I was sure she knew how to make them. She knew all things locks!) Do you know how to install them? How much do they cost?


I clicked send!


Phew, there was no going back now. The message was gone now. Although with this new improved what’s app, I could delete it. I didn’t. Instead I waited for her reply. I went to prepare dinner. As I did, I kept looking at my phone screen for updates.


No reply


I watched another movie


No reply.


I was feeling desperate for an answer but I did not want to send a reminder. You know that thing where you want a message to sound casual and not do or die? That was me.


Still no reply.


Maybe she was not home? Or perhaps she had left her phone at home and gone out without it. Or maybe she was attending to a client. She was a busy woman after all.

I decided to stop checking and just carry on. If it was going to be, it would be.


Then BUZZZ!!!!


A message and it was from Susan.


My heart was pounding as I typed in my password to unlock my phone and hit the What’s app icon. Yay, It was going to be real? I hope it would not cost a fortune. Whichecver way, I would pay anything to cut out the faffle of waiting around for my dreadworms to grow, bulk up, and all the hoohaa.


SUSAN: “Yes, expensive plus the hair and I need a day. Approximately 165 depending on the length”.


So much for waiting for a reply. I did not get much from it. Although on a positive note, she was engaging with the idea and not attacking it. She needed a day and my appointment with her was in less that 12 hours. I did not mind waiting an extra day to get what I wanted really. 165? Was that the price or the number of strands she had to make? If it was the price for it then that was fine too. As long as I had it done in the end. I was glad that Susan was not giving me a sermon. At least in the end it would benefit her and she would make more money from it. But I needed more answers


ME: “I understand. Is it super duper expensive? Please tell me the length ranges and prices”.


SUSAN: Is this for you?

Oh dear, my message sounded general. Of course it was for me.


ME: Yes, or is it too late? Now that I had done the dread worms? (Oh, I had not considered that. Anyway, she did say she could comb out my locks at the 4 week stage.)


SUSAN: Why do you want to rush the growth?

Really, rushing the growth? I still wonder why people like to give unsolicited opinions. Why could I not just make my hair in the way I chose without being given advice. Who said I wanted to rush the growth? I understood that the hair needed time to grow but I did not want to wait with it. I could disguise it while I did. I did nor even have to explain myself to anyone. I am a grown woman. I could feel my temperature rising. I started taking deep breaths to calm down because I did not want my disgust to seep through my fingers into my next reply to her.


Breathe in, Breathe out, In….out……in…..out….

“Hey babe, you ok? You seem to be breathing very deeply”, John asked.

Oh dear, I did not hear him walk in. Another adviser. The world seemed to be full of them.

He leant towards me on the couch wearing his concerned face.

“Oh babe, you dey vex o. You are angry. What’s causing it this time?” he asked.

“Seriously, this time? I resemble vesper for your eyes?” I asked and soon began giggling and he pouted his lips pretending to be upset.

We both started laughing. He was breathing in and out like he was about to faint.

“Stop it, stop it jor, stop mocking me”, I said pushing him away.

“Ok, on a more serious note”, he said, “wetin dey happen? What’s wrong?”.

I sat quietly.

“Aha, it must be serious then if you are considering if you should tell me or not!” he said. “Oya spill, I no dey comot for here o. No secrets remember?”

Then we burst into laughter again.

“No secrets when you want to milk information from me abi? Abegi, your guilt tripping no dey work again jare” I said.

“Oya sorry, tell me now. I don’t want you to explode from all this breathing in and out that never works for you” he said.

I really did not want to tell him but when John was in this mood, there was no shaking him off. He knew me very well and although I had no time for sermons, I just wanted him rest.

“Promise me there will be no sermons or preaching when I tell you” I demanded

“Ha! No sermons or preaching ke? Then it must be to do with your hair” he said.

As soon as the words left his lips we both burst into laughter. I laughed so loudly, I had tears in my eyes.

“So I am right abi?” He asked

“That’s why I don’t want to tell you. You never hear story, you don start to talk put” I said feigning sorrow.

“No o…who am I? I promise. No sermon on the mount or preaching. I resemble Jesus for your eye?” he asked.



Then I told him everything.


It’s Ok, he said (my heart was beating but hoping “It’s ok” would mean “it’s ok” and not be the intro to the long sermon from my rasta-bongo  of a man) Nobody should tell you what to do. If she doesn’t want to make the fox-locks

“No, Faux –locks”, I corrected

Ok, Faux-locks, then we can find someone else who can do it. What my baby wants, she gets. I believe you are going through a lot at the moment adjusting to the new look. Don’t forget that I had the faux-locks when I started. He said

“Did you? I thought those were extensions?” I asked surprisingly

“Well, they all served the same purpose and I came home with long locks from day 1. It was 3 years later before I trimmed them off after my locks had grown. It did them no harm as far as I can see”, He said shaking his locks from side to side like Bob-Marley.


Wow, I did not even really notice any difference when he had his done. Oh! Those were faux locks too right under my roof and there I was thinking I had just discovered them.  Cool. So I felt relaxed and confident about my plan. So I text Susan


ME: I do not want to rush the growth of my hair. I just want to be able to hold the hair in a bun while I wait for the hair to grow if I can. Is this still possible?


SUSAN: Call me, it’s possible


ME: No problem I am pleased…

I really wished I could skip the phone call but I had agreed to call and so I would.


Thanks for reading

Photo credit : Pixabay

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