Death at my door D.A.M.D (Musings of a grieving parent) Part 3 – BACK IN TIME


This series was created to share with our readers the thoughts and emotions of a grieving parent dealing with the monumental tragedy of losing a child. Enjoy!

BACK IN TIME

I keep walking…

I keep taking one step after another.

I keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes it feels like I can feel my feet being printed in the ground as I take each step.

 

I walk for dear life.

I walk to keep you near

It’s the one thing we used to share.

I can’t stop myself.

 

And then came a comforting thought as I walked today….

 

Perhaps all I need to do is retrace my footsteps.

Perhaps all I need is to walk backwards.

Perhaps 6 million steps back is all it will take.

To get me back to the time when you were here.

 

I would probably need to walk back in time till I find myself …

Till I find myself pushing you along the path we used to thread together.

With my eyes closed I can feel your little hand in mine.

I can see your big eyes looking up at me.

Asking me to lead you on as only I could do.

 

Come along my love and I will take you to the place you loved.

I will guide you to your place of freedom.

The place you wanted to be all along….

 

Now all I have is your song.

With your song I make that journey every day.

With its melodious tune I am guided back to the time

When you were here right next to me humming along.

 

Now all is quiet but right here in my heart you are never silent.

I can feel your presence near.

On the strings of the cords that you played.

I can see the marks that your fingers made.

 

I want you back! O how it hurts so….

But to have you back will be to wish more pain on you.

My only wish is for you to fly free.

Sometimes it’s hard, most times it’s easy

 

To see your face in the memories we carved on still paper.

Feels like my heart is being stabbed with a dagger.

But catching that glimpse gives me every reason to be strong

It makes me long for you but keeps my heart warm on cold nights.

 

How can all of life point to the exit sign?

How come all we have is a box full of memories?

How do you pack up a man’s life in a box?

How come it all fits in even though you were larger than life?

 

But back in time my love is where  I know I have to go

Back in time is where you live

Back in time is where I go when I want to be with you

Sleep sweetly my love….

Thank you for reading.

Just so you know, there was Part 2 last week. Click here to catch up.

You may also like to read other articles like this. They can be found here.

Photo Credit: Pixabay.