Creative loss


Sorrow…

That’s all that engulfs me every time I am lost

 

Whenever I sit down and feel my emotions, they are as raw as they are real.

I bring them to life through the words I weave. With each print, my feelings take shape and form within the pages of white paper.

 

But then again we all have this creative ability and we express it in different ways. Expressing it allows us to share in our divine connection with God. It allows us to humbly be led from within.

 

To embrace our creative existence is to embrace God the source of all creativity. The things we craft are not ours but God’s…presented to us through our feelings and emotions but expressed by us through our craft.

 

Whether we sing, dance, write, paint or act, we are all the same. We are seeking to find ourselves through the works of our hands…to find the hidden tunes in the beat of life.

 

What we have to give the world will be decided by the being who leads us. When and how we will succeed depends on our destiny. Even though we do not find material benefit from our creativity, the immaterial benefit of having the ability to express it is a gift to be treasured.

 

My soul is aggrieved because what I have created is now lost.

I wrote an epistle and poured myself into its creation. Night and day I was a slave to my ability but the end product justified all my hustle. On the day I sought to present the beauty of my creation, it was lost and never to be found no matter how hard I tried.

 

What does this mean? Why did God allow me access to the creative vault? Why did he give me the tools I needed to retrieve it and take it away from me again. I made a beautiful thing out of the grief that had me bound. Now that it is lost, I am aggrieved anew.

 

As I sit contemplating my loss, I am reminded of my humanity, my finiteness and insignificance in the grand scheme of things. I am a slave to my creator. I realise now more than ever why I must not let this setback be a distraction from the ultimate goal of partaking in creation as God intends. Or else I would be as lost as the artefact I seek.

 

I endure pain in many ways mostly because of the emotions they stir in me. Emotions are powerful and they rule the world. Wars are fought, peace is restored by those empowered to steer the emotions of others. Learning how to steer our emotions towards our intended goals is more of an art than a science.

 

When I lose what I create, it is so that I can become light enough to immerse myself deep within the fount of my creativity. The lighter I am, the more I can acquire. All loss is gain because in the end all is vanity. I did it before and so I will do it again. I will not fear because I am deeply rooted within the river that never runs dry.

 

I need to still my soul. Calm my spirit so that I can reach deep within. With God, all things remain within reach only if we believe. All hope is not lost. If it has not happened despite my efforts, that means it is not yet time.

 

Thank you for reading

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