Change 4


Change is constant. It is one of the most inevitable events in life. Things change, people change, tastes change, likes change, even dislikes change ! While I am not someone who embraces the idea of a proposed change, I do not resist it when it finally comes. It is funny how the thought of a disruptive incident occurring scares me more than the event itself. I remember worrying and moaning in the past about the prospect of an event occurring even to the point of fear. The weird thing was that when it actually happened, I coped very well emotionally, psychologically and in every way.

Change

Well, so change! Yes, as we were saying… is constant. Today however, I am exploring the reason for change. You may want to change something about yourself.  Your look, a habit you have, your routine and so on. That’s good. But what I will like to focus on is why you feel the need to change ? If you can ensure that you are changing for the right reasons, then you will stay on track when the going gets a bit shaky. The path that leads to realizing change is never easy. It may seem straightforward initially but it usually gets to a point where it becomes tedious. When this happens, if you are on that change path for the wrong reasons, you will never make it to the promised land.

In my opinion and experience, the best reason for change must come from within , that is, right from the inside. You must be making the change because of a perceived benefit to ‘’you’’. You must be at the centre of this change decision . Your needs must necessitate this change decision. No external force should have the ‘’louder voice’’ in your head regarding the need for change . You should not just change because of anybody-  friend, family, society or celebrity.  If you let them drive your change decision, then when hard times strike along the change path , you are likely to lose conviction easily and fizzle out. This always happens when the change reason is not deeply rooted.

External forces can influence the reason why you feel the “need” to change but then you need to analyse how that change will be good for you, it is important to define and know what that change will mean to you and how it will improve the current course your life is taking. Once determined, let it be the driving force for your change.

Sometimes, you can discover the need for change on your own. You are an individual who knows right from wrong. So it is expected that sometimes you will find areas to change single-handedly. Your change direction may not even be popular at the time you choose it. However you will know if it will be good for you.  If you then discover that it will positively steer your life in the right direction, go for it!

Change can have positive or negative consequences. You must know and understand all the positive and negative aspects to your proposed ‘’change’’. You must not only focus on the positives. Look at it from all angles. Analyse what these different angles will mean for you. It’s a good idea to only choose courses of action where the positives outweigh the negatives (in terms of outcomes) before selection.

Let’s look at a common example, you are worried about the way you look. It may be your physical appearance or even the way you materially project yourself to others that bothers you. Friends and family may also be piling the pressure by constantly teasing and complaining . The pressure may be strong enough for you to decide to make some changes. Now, in this case, external factors may be mainly responsible for your change decision. However, all the comments should not  be the sole change determinants. You also need to make sure that these changes will be good for you and that they are what you need to forge ahead positively before embarking on them.

Similarly, before you make a change, let it be a change that would be good for you. The fact that it worked for someone else does not mean it will work for you. We have to be careful not to be pressured into doing things by other people because, when the chips are down you will be left on your own (OYO) by those same people. You will have to live with the consequences of your actions. Not even the people who pressured you will share these consequences with you. You only live once (YOLO) therefore, make every change count for you.

Photo credit: pixabay

 


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