Inspirational


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I opened Otito’s box this weekend. It is a box where I stored away the clothes, toys and personal effects he used in the weeks preceding his death. I suddenly realised that the batteries were still in the toys and had to go through the torture of rummaging the box to sort out his toys. The thought that I would have felt worse if the toys got ruined powered me through the prospect. I built myself up for it all week. I was very aware that seeing Otito’s stuff was always my greatest trigger. For this reason, I kept on putting off the simple task. On Sunday, without even thinking about it after church, I just went for it. On one hand, i think that feeling very uplifted after what had been a lovely church service gave me the boost that I needed. From one trouser to the next, I sorted through. After that I brought out one toy after the other. Initially, I avoided setting any of the buttons off to avoid hearing the sounds of what were once the soundtracks of our lives. In my usual clumsy way I dropped one of the toys on top of the heap and that set off the cacophony I was desperately avoiding. To my utmost surprise, the feelings I began to experience were anything but raw grief. I began to smile as one sound after the next took me back to my boy. To times when his little fingers set those same sounds off. Times long gone came flashing before my eyes. My grief was real but suddenly it felt kinder to me. It was not pulling at my heart but somehow, it felt like a dull ache. The sounds warmed my heart and I even found myself smiling through tears that seemed more like tears of joy at the time. In less than a few minutes, the familiar sounds cajoled the boys from the different parts of the house where they were otherwise busily lost in their own worlds. The sounds lured them and as Mark walked into the room followed by Karl, I began to struggle to switch off the toys. I wished that I was alone in the house as I would have loved to indulge myself. Mark began singing along and It became a bitter sweet moment for us all. There was a serenity within it all as Mark sang that I cannot really explain. We were all together yet lost deeply within our individual thoughts. We began smiling at one another and enjoying the toy sounds while selfishly holding on to our individual thoughts. “These are Otito’s toys mum. What are you doing?”, Mark asked me rather protectively. ” I am just taking the batteries out”, I said. So we spent the Sunday afternoon thinking about Otito. We also watched some videos from when Otito was a baby playing with Mark. It was just nice to see our boy again. I had forgotten how happy he used to be amidst all the pain. I am so grateful for all the lovely videos we ever made and still make. It is so funny how much we forget over time and how quickly grief and pain replace every joyful memory when they strike. It is such a blessing to be able to revisit some old but beautiful memories. Thank you for reading If you enjoyed this, you will find more articles like this here Photo credit: Pixabay

Death at my door (DAMD): Smiles


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Immersion… An interesting word for today right? Well, It has not come about by accident. That’s just in case you were wondering. It was a word that came about through feedback. A person was described as one who got thoroughly immersed in any activity they performed. It was a compliment actually. I always like to think that once in a while it is interesting to get feedback about how we come across to others. This was definitely an exciting one. Until that point in the discussion, I would have never ever thought of describing the person in question as one who enjoyed being immersed in any activity. I was wrong because right now, the more I think about it, the more I find it to be an extremely suitable description. So let’s turn to Merriam Webster my trusted side kick when it comes to defining terms. She offered me many definitions but the one that I thought was most suitable for the purpose of this discussion was the third definition. Here it comes… ….absorbing involvement…. I like that. For one to be described as having a tendency to be totally absorbed and involved in an activity must be a good thing. Right? Personally, I like not only to do things but to experience them. To do something feels more external than experiencing it in my opinion. I like to watch how things make me feel when I do them. I like to be aware of how I form my opinion about the things I do based on how they make me feel as I do them. I also like to compare my feelings over time … how am I feeling about this now compared to how I felt previously? I can hardly participate in things without deploying all my senses. This creates a lot of internal dialogue which can sometimes be distracting. Feel things from the heart don’t just be a partaker … That’s like an unspoken motto of mine. But that also comes with its baggage. You see not all activities we perform make us feel anything to start with. Especially when they are in their infancy- when we first start to do them. When we are still learning to do them, it can be difficult to feel excited about them. It’s easy to think that someone possesses a mighty  dose of absorbing involvement in an activity when they are enjoying what they are doing. This can lead to the assumption that this feeling occurs with every activity they participate in. It can even make us feel that we do not possess as much potential for being completely absorbed in the activities that we ourselves are involved in. Well, not so my friend, not so…. That absorbing involvement you witness in others is expressed mostly when people perform enjoyable activities. There are many things that can distract us from experiencing the same level of absorbing involvement that we admire in others. I like to think of them as internal and external distractions. Let’s start with the internal distraction. Do you remember how I told you earlier about how I need to experience and not just do things?  Well, that’s a classic example of a potential recipe for distraction that originates from within. I cannot count how many activities I have been robbed of because I have been too impatient to allow myself hop over the learning hurdle and into the enjoyment phase. The need to immediately enjoy and feel can be a distraction from the whole process and objective of simply participating in many activities. In fact funny enough, many of the activities I am currently admired for were those that I learnt when I was very young. I have no real recollection of what the learning phase was like or the resistance I may have put up. I was very young when I acquired those skills and what’s more the responsibility for making sure I mastered them was not mine. My parents and teachers would take full credit for those. Writing, sewing, tidying up, playing an instrument, saying my prayers, reading my bible etc. With those skills, I hear people say I have super immersive tendencies. Now that I am solely responsible for acquiring new skills to help me participate in new activities, I must confess to you that I have found myself as shamefully wanting as any one else. I cannot even learn to play the Wii with my son because I lack the patience to learn what all those buttons are for on the controller. Worse still, the functionalities keep changing with the games and I simply cannot keep up. What happened to just colouring or painting things? So you may see me doing things like that diligently and looking totally absorbed in those but don’t be fooled. I don’t enjoy or feel anything when I play the games because I cannot get myself to be patient enough to learn them. As a result, I safely stick with familiar patterns. In order to reach a point of immersion in the activities we perform, we need to find ways to remove distractions and create a focusing environment in which the so- called activities we get involved in can thrive.Not many of us are able to kill all the noise and things that tend to push and pull us as we perform various activities. This leads to an inability to be absorbed or completely involved in them. In the end, we end up avoiding or even neglecting them. This brings us nicely into the external reason for distraction which is mainly peer pressure. This distraction originates not just as a result of an internal distaste, lack of enjoyment or feeling for the activities we perform but from people whose feelings we put before ours. In trying to please them, we compromise on our personal desires regarding the activities in question. The need to yield to these external peer pressures also fuel the need for conformity. This means that many activities we will ordinarily participate in, enjoy and […]

Word of the day – Immersion



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If you have been sailing through life and never failed at anything, it is difficult to appreciate the gift that failure can bring to your soul. I feel so sad. Failing again and again has bashed my self esteem. it has made me question myself. Am I really good enough? Perhaps I have been very lucky up till this point and escaped with many near misses that I have not noticed, how narrow my escapes have been. That is pretty much how I feel right now. I am so angry with myself. The more success has continued to elude me, the more frustrated I have become. I have tried everything within my power to succeed and it just feels like the more I try, the more I tumble down the slippery slope. I partook in a test that depended on how someone else other than me judged my actions. If they judged them as safe, I passed but if they determined my actions to be dangerous, however innocuous my intentions, then I failed. Every time a tentative feedback was given, I felt judged even though it was sometimes corrective.  By the time the judgement was finally passed,  I felt like an extra switch had been put off and my confidence nose- dived…dimmed one switch at a time. Why could I not see that all I had were just a litany of miscalculations? I just could not understand how I could have been so daft. It’s interesting how we view ourselves compared to how we are viewed. Sometimes, we allow ourselves trust the judgement of people around us (especially if they are external and not prejudiced) and rightly so. However, it does not stop it being very heartbreaking to sit and listen to them talk about how we actually come across. While we mustn’t spend time worrying about how others view us, we cannot totally ignore them. As they say, everyone cannot be wrong at the same time. Failure was an alien term to me until I joined the bandwagon. I really could neither relate with nor excuse it. It simply did not exist. It was a stamp for weakness. But recently having suddenly tasted the pill of failure despite the heavy doses of hard work and optimism I had mustered, I began to appreciate failure. I began to see how the elusiveness of the target could either be a propeller or dissuader. I began to appreciate how failure could secure success or destroy egos. I had no idea that I was such a bad loser until I began to experience failure. I had enjoyed so many victories, I did not know how to fail. Failure really sucks trust me but the truth is that as long as we are trapped in our humanity, it is a phenomenon that is sometimes inevitable. Survival of the fittest!  You are not the only one on a mission to succeed so sometimes others will have their own turn…Let them shine after all when you were a winner, they too watched you take your turn on the pedestal of success. So in order to experience the lessons hidden in failure, we need to learn how to fail. Failure helps us realise that we are human and as such we can never be perfect always. It helps us pay more attention to the things we will normally overlook. It not only makes us aware that what we are trying is not working but pushes us to find new ways that can work. Failing is not really losing, It is in reality a postponed victory. Losing is when you stop trying to find a way to win. Every one will get their own turn only if they keep trying. One thing failure does best is make the victory even sweeter when it finally arrives. Failure provides an opportunity to learn more accurately as we strive to aim higher in our attempt secure success. Failure allows us go through a process by providing us with experiences that strengthen our awareness of success. In order to achieve this, failure helps us listen more closely to the wisdom in the hidden lessons that we can build on as we edge closer to victory. The journey to success that is stretched longer by failure is  the journey that sculpts and fashions  us into tougher beings as we strive and never give up. The one who attains immediate victory knows only the way that works while the one who fails severally before experiencing victory knows not only the way that works but is also the most certain about the ways that don’t work. This knowledge secures the victory once attained because there will be no reason to drift away from the path of success. If we can be kinder to ourselves when we fail, we will be less scarred by failure. Failure is nature’s way of telling us that we are not ready. Failure does not mean that you are not good enough, it just means that you have not yet found the way. Look at it this way, even if you have the best car in the world, you cannot drive from point A to B if you do not know the way that leads from A to B. Even if that car is a Bugatti, the man on a bicycle who has the map or knowledge about how to get from point A to B will get there before you. This does notmake his means of transportation better than yours. Therefore, when we fail, let us stop taking failure personal. Let us start asking the right questions about why we are failing or what we need to get us to where we need to be. Let us go back to the basics if we have to. We must keep trying until we find a way that works. In the end we will be rewarded not only with the victory we seek but with information about so many other ways that may equip is in other endeavours. […]

The power of failure- Why a bit of failure can be a good thing.


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Looking ahead can be impossible when you loose someone you love. I welcome you to unite your heart with mine today. We lose the ones we love in different ways. Some fall out of love with us, some abandon us and some unfortunately…die. Of all the losses, death stings the hardest because with death comes a finality. In death lies the impossibly of a reunion with the loved one at least not in this world. However, in death lies freedom. Freedom from all the limitations that life can bring. Limitations of suffering, poverty, distance , time and even … sickness. Death can conjur sad memories… only if you let it. We all experience our thoughts. If you think about something hard enough, you will feel it soon enough. When we lose someone we love, let us be comforted by the life we once shared with them. Let us experience the thoughts about the good times, the happy times, the laughter, the gains, the milestones. This is an important gift from them to us.The privilege of sharing in their joys and sufferings can not be taken away by death. Therefore no matter how death chooses to come, let us experience those thoughts. Let us realise that death is the ultimate end to the journey of all life…. There are no timescales. When it’s time, it’s time. Sometimes it feels too short in our eyes but it is long enough for the deceased. “Fulfilment is not found in the number of days lived. It is found in the unquenchable joy that fills each day. Life may be short but the joy that fills each moment makes it perfect!” … Let us allow those feelings take their roots in our heart because at the end of the day, it is not how far our days on this earth are stretched that matter. It is how well we live and enjoy each of those days we live.. The more you think it, the more you believe it…. Let us forget the if’s, why’s and but’s that bring tears and focus on the gratitude of being part of the story of what was once the life of the one that once shared our lives. I love you all very dearly and I thank you for supporting us through this most difficult time. So I ask you this, in light of what we have just talked about above: “Is there any one you have lost to distance, heartbreak or quarrel?” You have the chance today to make your peace with them and be part of their story again. Don’t leave it till too late you never know what lies around the corner. Make that call you if have the time today!   Thank you for reading If you enjoyed this, you will find more articles like this here Photo credit: Pixabay

Death at my door D.A.M.D (Musings of a grieving parent) Part 8 – MAKE YOUR PEACE



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We become strong people not because we have the best situations But because we make the best out of every situation👍. Good opportunities can be sandwiched in thorny paths. They are not to be found by everyone but by that someone who is courageous enough to thread that path. Fear 😱can steal the strength💪 to carry on. Rise above fear to see what life is really teaching you with the precariousness of your situation. There are strengths 💪💪deposited in you by God for every journey. You are on a mission in this world and your God “chi” did not send you on that mission empty handed. 🙏 You were created ready even though you do not realise it. The tools 🔧⚒⛏ you need are hidden within you.   You may never know….but when the time comes You will find them deep within…hidden away from prying 👀eyes👀. Forged by the heat of the situations you loathe. So quit complaining and start believing that you can overcome💪💪. That is only when you will see what lies within. I wish you a lovely week and hey….DO NOT BE AFRAID!   Thank you for reading. You may also like to read other articles like this. They can be found here. Photo Credit: Pixabay

Strengthening words for this stressful life…Click to see and enjoy ;-)


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It’s a privilege to experience “misfortune”…especially as much misfortune as I have managed so far. But defining misfortune can be quite relative. What I consider it to be may not be the same for the next person and vice versa. What misfortune can bring with it is a new lens from which to view life. A lens that can easily be misplaced or sometimes lost if the only focus is the misfortunes. That lens is empowering. As a result of that misfortune, you become able to relate in a powerful way to occurrences that you would otherwise ignore, overlook or even underestimate. Acquiring this lens helps many people feel more compassionate and sensitive to the struggles of people in the most touching ways. People struggle and are seldom able to express the extent of their pain to others. It can be empowering to keep it all in have your “business” close to your chest but as the challenges pile up, they can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Challenges can also be alienating because suddenly you realise that you are only alone in the depth of knowledge and experiences you deal with daily. It’s hard to connect with others unless they can “get” what you mean when you “say” or “feel” the way you do. Don’t feel so alone because if you start to look through the empowering lens of your misfortune you will navigate through your struggles more easily. Through the lens of your pain: You see people for who they really are You suddenly filter the noise that otherwise surrounds most of us. You realise that it’s not really selfish to look out for yourself. You see that while many may like you to believe it’s selfish to look out for yourself, it is their first response to you when you need them the most. It’s not all bad though …. The lens of misfortunes helps you see the friends you otherwise overlook. The best of them are not as flashy as the clanging cymbals because they too bear or have borne a pain like you do and can relate easily with you. Turn those lemons that life gives you into healthy juices that will nourish your life by doing the best you can with the challenges you are faced with. It may be nearing the end for you but at the end always comes the start of a new chapter.  Thank you for reading Thank you for reading. You may also like to read other articles like this. They can be found here. Photo Credit: Selfie

The lens of misfortune- A blessing in disguise



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If you knew that you had a shorter time will you do things differently? Life can sometimes be like a football match. Not that we are all football fans but anyone who has seen a football match will agree that it can seem very life-like sometimes. Teams, usually 2 in number, get themselves set for a game with one purpose in mind: Winning! It is funny how both sides keep hoping to win while knowing that not more than one side will actually win. Even when beset with challenges and odds stacked for or against either side, their optimism does not diminish. The mix of events that occur throughout the match are as unpredictable as life itself. They are filled with ups and downs and not forgetting good or bad luck despite the quality of play executed by the teams. What this means in effect is that a deserving side can win based on their skill sets or  sometimes lose based on the mood of “mother luck”. How many times have we thought that a team had the winning ticket only for them to lose at the last minute swinging the victory to the less deserving side despite all their prowess? One other resemblance that a football match can have with life is the way the teams struggle and give the best when the the game is nearly over. This is very interesting considering the teams had all the time in the world to pull out their miracle winning trick. One wonders why most times, teams leave their best performance till late. It is said that we should save the best for the last but in football terms it seems foolish! If the last minute frantic performance put up by the struggling teams begin slightly earlier, they would not have to struggle so much. We all do this too…. We live like we would exist for ever. Procrastinating and shuffling through life. Wasting away valuable time… Time that we can spend more preciously… …Wisely… As soon as we see a date in sight… death! We gasp and begin to appreciate how much more we could have done with the time we had. Sickness, disease or a health scare can jolt our reality into focus. We become more aware of the fleetingness of life. Bucket lists become moulded to fit in all the “important” stuff. At that cliff edge of life when we are about to slip away we see clearly what is really important, Items spring into our bucket list and like our lives, the buckets lack the depth to contain all we truly desire to achieve. Life us simply too short even for those standing far from that cliff edge only they do not realise it. Just because you are healthy and not being given the sad news of impending death does not mean you are really safe from it. The only ones given the gift of finally appreciating life are those who can sniff the end drawing closer. In essence, when life is nearly over, it becomes clearer what enjoying life really means. We begin to try to make up for lost time. Suddenly life begins to be lived to the fullest. Interestingly, those clutching at the last ticks of life begin to be the ones who know how to enjoy life. They know how not to waste precious moments. Sadly, the moments become so precious because there becomes an actual struggle to fit every single activity into the short time left. It doesn’t have to be that way…. So I wonder …. What if you and I who are not in a position to feel that our time is running out began to be more conscious of the unpredictable nature of life…fleeting life? Would we do things differently? If so, it may be necessary to rethink how we are currently spending every moment of our lives…. We can make a conscious effort never to lose sight of the fact that life is too short. We are all closer to the end than we realise. Sometimes, our loved ones slip away and leave us wishing we had spent more time caring for them. Sometimes our circumstances change and we move far away rendering many chapters we currently ignore or take for granted closed. We can take advantage of every moment we have by living life to the fullest…. Live life to the fullest because no one knows the day or the hour they will go. We all may go in different ways. Death is only one way. Relocation, heartbreak, separation, divorce, ideological differences, work transfer, dream pursuits and so on. Suddenly the time we have to spend with our loved ones becomes scarce. Just because we sit around the table with our families today does not mean the headcounts will be complete next week! … Life happens… So why not savour  every present moment? Stop leaving till tomorrow what you can accomplish today. Delay can be dangerous. If you have friends, hang out! If you have family, spend more time together! Some of the most fun things you can share with family and friends  are free. The gift of your time will not even cost a dime! It does not matter how much you spend when you are with your loved one. What matters is the quality of the connection you achieve with that person in the time you share together. A fortune spent on a gift will only matter if a connection is made. You can also make the same connection if you spend time together. Let the acquisition of material wealth for presents not hinder the quality time that can otherwise be shared with loved ones. It may mean nothing if the time you share together does not translate into happiness for you both. Is there an activity you have always wished to perform? Why not stop putting it off ? Stop over analysing it and just do it! You may not have the time you have […]

What will you do when the time is up!


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Looking ahead can be impossible when you loose someone you love. I welcome you to unite your heart with mine today. We lose the ones we love in different ways. Some fall out of love with us, some abandon us and some unfortunately…die. Of all the losses, death stings the hardest because with death comes a finality. In death lies the impossibly of a reunion with the loved one at least not in this world. However, in death lies freedom. Freedom from all the limitations that life can bring. Limitations of suffering, poverty, distance , time and even … sickness. Death can conjur sad memories… only if you let it. We all experience our thoughts. If you think about something hard enough, you will feel it soon enough. When we lose someone we love, let us be comforted by the life we once shared with them. Let us experience the thoughts about the good times, the happy times, the laughter, the gains, the milestones. This is an important gift from them to us.The privilege of sharing in their joys and sufferings can not be taken away by death. Therefore no matter how death chooses to come, let us experience those thoughts. Let us realise that death is the ultimate end to the journey of all life. There are no timescales. When it’s time, it’s time. Sometimes it feels too short in our eyes but it is long enough for the deceased. “Fulfilment is not found in the number of days lived. It is found in the unquenchable joy that fills each day. Life may be short but the joy that fills each moment makes it perfect!”… Let us allow those feelings take their roots in our heart. The more you think it, the more you believe it. Let us forget the if’s, why’s and but’s that bring tears and focus on the gratitude of being part of the story of what was once the life of the one that once shared our lives. I love you all very dearly and I thank you for supporting us through this most difficult time. So I ask you “Is there any one you have lost to distance, heartbreak or quarrel?” You have the chance today to make your peace with them and be part of their story again. Don’t leave it till too late you never know what lies around the corner. Make that call you if have the time today!   Thank you for reading. Photo credit: Pixabay. You can watch the video by clicking below. Cheers

Death at my door (D.A.M.D) Part 7 Looking ahead after a loss…stay strong!



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Do you feel like you lack the punch life needs? Haha…welcome aboard! That’s what I thought when I was a little girl. I was not born strong…I am not really sure anyone was born strong to be honest. Living life is the journey that makes or breaks you. Think about it this way, you will never realise how much you have grasped a course or subject until you are tested. No matter how much you read and rehearse it, there is no simulation that can perfectly mimic the exam day. The tension and adrenaline rush,the uncertainty surrounding what the question might possibly be ….chai! Nothing prepares you for that part unless you sit the exam. In the exam hall, the panic attack can make you fail the exam not even the lack of knowledge. The beauty of that failure is that you can use it as a stepping stone for further preparation and subsequent success. That’s the opportunity that life gives us. In living life everyday, we are confronted with many situations that prepare us for many things that lie ahead in future. We may never realise all we have deposited within us until the need arises to use them. Have you ever heard yourself say this before: ” I wonder how you coped? or I am not sure I would have survived it if that happened to me?” Well if it’s any consolation, I have said that too. The thought about an event or possibility of an event that lies ahead can be more draining than the actual occurrence of the event. That is just because when the brain is not thrown into a situation, it can overthink it to a state of panic. It goes into overdrive and tends to think the worst in preparation for the event. That can leave a person totally drained and overwhelmed by an event that has not even occurred. Well the good news is that you are not alone. All I can tell you today is to be strong in your mind. Stay trusting yourself and you will not fail. If I tell you today that I trust you to smash that interview won’t you believe it? Or tell you that I trust you to stand up for yourself will you not see the sense in it? Don’t wait for anyone to tell you that because you have the ability to tell it to yourself. Just believe it…. The good thing about “believe” is that it is the main ingredient that conjures faith and strength. Remember what they say “if you think you can you can” and I say to you today : if you think you can’t you not only can’t but you loose the oomph! Is there anyone in your life or any situation bringing you down and making you feel small? Ignore it because it is not what “they” think of you that counts, it is not even what “you” think of you that counts because you are human and can get things twisted sometimes. It is what “God” thinks of you that counts. You do not even have to be religious for God to think wonderfully about you. You don’t even have to believe it either, he just does. Julia Cameron in her book “The Artist’s Way(TAW)” describes God as an acronym for Good Orderly Direction. I too see the sense in that especially for those that struggle with the God concept. If you listen to the voice within… that still small voice of reason, you will locate that Good Orderly Director that guides all of life and creativity. For me he is the King of kings, the Lord God almighty and the author and finisher of my faith. For you he may be described or named differently. There is strength deposited in you. You have the punch life needs. As you live life, let the circumstance that appears to crush you mould you into that person you will become. Ignore the urge to complain so that you will learn the lessons life is teaching you. Those lessons form the building blocks for that strength which you admire in others. I have a plan to reach out to you and guide you as life has guided and taught me to. Together, we will strengthen each other. Nobody knows it all. Feel free to leave me a comment about your thoughts. Don’t forget to share the post so that others who struggle can be reached. There is hope even as little as a whisper to be found in every situation in life. Thank you for reading. You may also like to read other articles like this. They can be found here. Photo Credit: Pixabay. You can also watch the video by clicking on the link below.

You have got the “Punch” too!!!


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So everyone before you has tried it and every single time they failed… You are warned and told that you will not like it so the safe thing will be to stay away. You decide to chart a new course, to find a new territory to explore. Yet even as you do the new things you cannot seem to shake off your self-belief concerning the dream you left behind. Yes! Others have failed…. Yes! Nobody has gained…. Every single time they come up with losses. One fact you fail to see is that the only person who has not yet tried is YOU. Perhaps you are the one who needs to do things differently. It has not yet been done in the way “you” will do it. Even if you follow the same patterns the fact that it’s your turn to do it may be all  that is needed to make a difference. It may be all it takes to break the jinx, to crack the egg that only you can see within the stone of doubt that surrounds you. The doubt you see may be the shroud that nature has used to disguise it to everyone as impossible in order to preserve your moment. Some songs have been sung before yet everyone stands still when you open your lips. Your stamp may be all we need to put on it to make it unique. It’s your signature on things that may make or mar their success. How will you know the direction that things will take (good or bad) if you don’t try? Have you not heard that you have to be in it to win it? Nobody ever tried by getting comfortable on the fence. You have to step out of your comfort zone to push boundaries beyond your reach. Only then will you discover the strengths within which is what you should seek. That strength is the ace that resides way up your sleeves. It allows you to express your talent in a unique way that makes your dream accomplishable. You will remain unaware of the full extent of your gifts until you  move towards the unreachable depths, the deep recesses of your soul. Then shall these strengths be released and made available from nature for you to access. So do not try to justify why it may be that you have the answer to the riddle that has never been solved. Do not let man-made reasons which may be true steal your self-belief and leave you wandering endlessly without purpose. If you do not start to fulfill the purpose for which you were born, there will be no balm to calm you down as you struggle within to bring things to being. You must try to get on with things until you find a reason to live. To stop is to fail and To listen can sometimes be to derail from the masterpiece that you alone can create. The piece will only be made with the perfect mixture of ingredients only you possess. What you have inborn can never come to life if you don’t try. So next time you believe, weed self-doubt and conspiracy theories woven by people filled with defeat or over cautiousness. Their intentions may not be to stop you from getting there. They may assume that you will do things the same old ways and end up the same way that they did- in defeat. Sometimes it’s because they care that they keep coming to reinforce the impossibility of your dream. It won’t be your dream if they could explain it all to you. It is only you who can tell what you see deep down when you look within. You can defy the kiln by stepping in and giving it all you’ve got. The shot you take may be all it takes to shatter the barriers. The circumstances that caused their failure may be just what you need to succeed. After all they say, It is the you in you that makes you the you that you are! Believe in yourself… Thank you for reading. You may also like other articles in this series. Click here Photo credit: Pixabay

It’s your turn…so believe in yourself.



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There are sometimes when you cannot help. There are some people you cannot save. There are dreams you cannot make come true. There are circumstances you cannot fix. It’s not because you are weak. It’s not because you are mean. It’s just because you are strong enough to realise you do not have all the answers they seek. It’s only then that you will know that you cannot save everyone you meet. There are times you want to solve a problem so badly it hurts. There are times you have to realise that as much as you want to make things okay they cannot be mended. There are times you get sucked into every problem thinking you hold all the solutions. There are times you get so worked up that you cannot see that you don’t have the answer. Maybe it’s because this puzzle is already broken. Some parts are missing and so it cannot really be solved. It’s not about what you have not done right, it’s just that it cannot be fixed. It is only sincerity that helps you see that it is time to stop trying. To let things go so that they can slip away. It is emotion that keeps you bound to all the reasons why you should hold on to what needs to be set free. Some battles will surely be lost because the victory is too costly to celebrate. So you realise soon enough that although you lose them, the loss is cheaper than the victory. It’s time to take back control… To control how you let things make you feel, to stop the circumstance from pulling you in. So that this time maybe you won’t feel it’s mean to see that is not down to you to always be the one to keep it real. You need to control your emotions and stand firm with the decision that stepping away is what you need to do to help things heal. When you try to find the right words, search deep within you and you  will see that silence will be loud enough to fill the heart that seems to sink in despair. So you find that by standing aside you let things slip back into position. Some relationships cannot be mended. Not because of want of trying but because they have come to a point where like a rope they are severed. By trying to mend them you keep going round in circles and coming back to the beginning, to the point where the problem started and like before they start to pull at your heart. Throw in the towel and choose your battles. If you delay you may lose yourself with each arrow off hurt that finds and strikes you. This thing will eat you like a cancer in your soul. It will take over all your sense of reason. It will feel like the more you try, the more your efforts get frustrated. As you keep trying to fix the unfixable, it damages you more. Soon you will look in the mirror and the one you see is someone who definitely did not exist before all this stuff began. You look deep inside and you know that you cannot even recognise this person you see. The one you have become since you refused to let things be. Instead of letting the circumstances take all control. Perhaps it’s time to take the bold step by saying goodbye to show the strength you have and preserve your self-respect. Self belief keeps you trusting that this road you have chosen is for the best. It may not be good for everyone but what matters is that it is good enough to keep you in check. That’s when you will see that waking up from the slumber of self deceit is far from a display of weakness but rather it’s a show of the strength within. Self-knowledge helps you know that the outcome will be the same again. You can move on to preserve your strength and focus on other battles you can win. If you keep choosing your battles rightly you will realise that things are not static. You will win some and you will lose some. It’s the way it has always been from time immemorial before you even came into being. Thank you for reading You can click here for more articles like this. Photo credit: Pixabay

When it’s time to take back control