Monthly Archives: December 2018


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Initiating the placement visit The Nursing and Midwifery council regulates the practice of all nurses and midwives registered within the UK (NMC, 2015). As a result, they determine the structure of the nurse-training course in order to ensure that all students are ready to enter the register at the end of the programme. The structure of the course unlike many others is half theory and half practice. What this means is that students spend 50% of the course in the university exploring the theoretical aspects of nursing. While, other 50% of the time is spent within placement where the theory that is learnt is put into practice (NMC, 2010). In reality, the prospect of attending placements can be both an exciting and daunting prospect for most students at university especially for those in the first year. This article is aimed at students from all disciplines of nursing. When students receive placement information, the university expects them to undertake an initial placement visit. This visit is normally initiated by a phone call to the placement area by the student. Making phone calls have become very mundane tasks. However, when it comes to making the phone call to book placement visits, the author has observed that students can find the simple task very daunting. The article will consider some steps to take before and during the call to help simplify this task and to keep it as simple as it is intended to be. Before making the phone call Calm down and stay composed. At the end of the day, it is just a phone call. The people in the placement area will probably be used to having students. That means it is very likely that they are willing to help. Be organized. Look at your diary. Make sure you know the days you are expected to be at university. Take note of free days and be flexible about the time you will be available. It may be worth having your diary nearby. There is nothing more annoying than selecting a date and finding out later that you have lectures on that day. Get the phone number. Check the email for this. If it has been omitted, don’t panic. You can call the placement office. Sometimes, the phone numbers on the placement directory may be outdated. Imagine how many student placement areas organized by the placement office. You can search for the website of the placement area online. Call the switchboard and ask to be transferred to the ward or area you require. If you do not know the contact person, just ask to be linked with a mentor or staff member who manages the students. That person will most likely have specific details. Talk to other students. Find out what others are doing. Don’t isolate yourself. It is always nice to interact and get support from others within your cohort. Sometimes there may be others in your class who are posted to the same place as you. You can arrange a group visit to reduce anxiety. They may also have more up to date information about the area if they have already called or visited. During the phone call Relax and stay calm. Remember, it is just a phone call. Placement areas are filled with helpful staff who are aware of your potential anxiety. Don’t panic, if the person sounds a bit distracted. It may be a busy day within the placement area. Staff aim to be professional but being human makes them prone to error. Make your first impression count. First impressions can be daunting when you are on the phone. So use your tone of voice, pitch and calmness to help you maintain your composure. This will help you come across as confident. Write down your questions. This will save you from forgetting any information you want to know about. It may also reduce anxiety by making you more attentive and present during the conversation. Sometimes worrying about forgetting important niggling questions can be stressful. Listen. Try to listen during the conversation with the mentor or staff. Resist the temptation of talking over the person. Let them finish their sentences before you start speaking. It shows respect for the other party. Have a paper and pen to hand. This will help you write down important information during the conversation. For example details like time to attend the visit, who to ask for and so on. Ask if you need to bring in documents. Some placement areas require you to come in with your DBS clearance documents. Others may want you to bring some official identification especially if you are going into a secure service area. Take some time. Take time to recap all the information you have received during the call. This reduces the risk of omitting important information like where to go, what time to arrive, whom to see, etc. it also makes the other party know that you were listening.   In conclusion, after you have scheduled the visit, you may begin to feel less anxious because you have taken control of the situation (NHS Choices). These steps discussed above can be taken before and during the call to the placement area to prepare students for the placement learning opportunity.   References Nursing and Midwifery Council (2015) The Code. Standards of conduct, performance and ethics for nurses and midwives. London: NMC. Nursing and Midwifery council (2010) Standards for pre-registration nursing education. London: NMC NHS Choices Thanks for reading Written by Lauretta Ofulue Photo credit: Pixabay        

Nursing Diaries: Initiating the placement visit


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I heard something interesting in the news today. China has banned Christmas Is that even possible? Banning Christmas? Well, this country has certainly defied the norm and banned Christmas. As a Christian, I should shout but in reality, I am not sure that I disagree.   Ever since I arrived the shores of obodo oyibo, Christmas has appeared to have more to do with Santa than Jesus. I have listened and watched the media gear up for Christmas from as early as October. Children are encouraged to be at their best behaviour so that come December the 25th, Santa Claus would visit the bottom of their Christmas trees where he would deposit presents to reward their behaviour.   In fact there is even a big hullabaloo about sighting this Santa Claus fellow on the Christmas eve in the sky. That is made possible by a pre-arranged gimmick by the National space agency (NASA) to convince children about the reality of a man that only exists in our imagination.   In my eyes all I can see and hear beneath all these is not evil but capitalism. Driving sales and profits being the main rationale for the season. You can see how much easier it is for these clever people to achieve their numbers just by focusing all their campaigns on something as popular as Christmas. Therefore, the big companies cash in on the idea. They offer sales, low prices, stock clear-outs and you name it just to make their balance sheets look sparkly for the end of what happens to be most of their financial years’.   It is not actually a bad thing per se. We do live in a society that needs to be viable. Low sales, low profits means that businesses slowly die off. That leads to a chain reaction of events including unemployment, poverty, hunger and homelessness. Next comes crime and problems because people have to survive somehow. The social system of benefits may pick up some of the tabs but with no income coming in, it too will crash. So yes, sales are very good and a positive step towards economic sustainability.   However what we need as Christians is to redirect the focus of Christmas. The motive behind an action determines how we judge it. So basically, we can both be doing the same thing but if we have two different reasons for doing it, we will judge the outcomes differently.  Rather than drive Christmas towards Mr Clause and focus it on capitalism and materialism, we can redirect the focus to be on Christian values that are focused around Jesus Christ. Love, giving, kindness, compassion and so on can be the renewed purpose for patronising these merchants.   As Christian parents we must strive to pull our children towards the true Christmas spirit.   Or else, what will we be teaching our children?   That Christmas is a time of receiving, writing lists, making demands and making endless demands on our overstretched resources. We will be teaching them about filling the Christmas trees with things that we do not really need while we miss the opportunity to teach them to be prudent and kind.   If we can emphasise the truth about Christmas instead of just the capitalist idea of sales, then maybe Christmas would still be about buying things to give in love to those around us instead of only expecting to get from everyone. Christmas should be a super duper love feast because Jesus himself was born on that day for the sole purpose of sharing himself with us entirely and eternally.   We will be more able to then value all that people around us give us not just the material presents that they buy. There are some among us who give up their time to be with us, their attention to help guide us, their love to support us. Do we teach our children to recognise the gifts they bring to enrich our lives with? Do we let the capitalists spend all their time and resources selling the Santa Clause idea to us rather than we as Christians taking the lead on selling the free gift of Jesus at Christmas with the world? Let us think again about what we teach the next generation. Although China may have banned Christmas, let us revive the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and lives. Let us place an embargo on the capitalist, wasteful, self-indulgent idea of Christmas. Let us embrace the Christmas that reminds us to love, to give and to share.  After all as they say, It is more blessed to give than to receive. Thank you for reading. Photo Credit: Pixabay

The Santa Clause



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Childhood memories…. Of us all sitting in the sunshine Playing in the sand and rolling in the mud with reckless abandon. We had way more fun than the children we nuture would ever dream of.   I remember the tales by moonlight we heard or were told On dark hot nights while we waited for NEPA to bring us some light. The National Electric Power Authority that we saw as Never Expect Power Always…NEPA indeed! Something that should have been the people’s right was given as a privilege to us Even though our parents payed huge bills for electric we never used.   I remember the days when children’s programmes only lasted from 4-6pm When we made our games as we went along without asking for too much When it was enough to eat rice on Christmas Day not write long endless lists like tax collectors     I digress though….as usual   Day in day out we had each other for company… We had our fill and never imagined a day would come when we will live apart. But such is life. It happens and we sail away on our dreamboats in pursuit of our inner desires. Sometimes I wonder if it has all been worth it? The longing for old times keeps me up at night .   Life happened and took us on our separate ways. To pastures new we sojourned in search of bread and butter. To the tunes we once listened to I indulge myself until I sail back in time. I hear all the laughter ring in the silence of my heart. It deafens my ears and kindles my constant longing for the good old days.   I realise now that what I long for resides in the good old days. I long for you, my brother, my sister, my parent, my friend I long for the joy you brought into my life. Although I have all, I am impoverished by the constance of your absence   Although you are far from me I still feel your love It warms my heart like a blanket wrapped around my shivering body on a cold winter morning. I refuse to set these sweet memories aside for now I just want to bask in the warmth of that reassuring love.   I now live far away from all the noise and joy of true family and friendship I admit the hurt it causes my heart. Like a spear it cuts through deep To the extent that I cease to make my heart available to form new ties My heart is frozen over with my longing for you.   We are all grown men and women But in my heart we are still the children we once were. I want to roam the streets in reckless abandon in search of everyone But I know you are safe where you reside, far across the world.   Thanks for reading Photo credit Pixabay

Longing for the good old days


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I have been thinking a lot about how more challenging it is to raise a Christian child in this day and age. It feels like it was a lot easier for our parents to achieve this in their era. Those of us born in the 70s and 80s, know for a fact that the benchmark for moral standards has shifted adversely. This is now an age where things like nakedness, exposure, foul language and even strong vices are seen as badges. If you think this is a lie, watch the television. No longer do those images and ideologies sting our senses or cause us to squirm.   I agree that technology and so called enlightenment have been the making of the modern world. However the trade off has been the shift in what we all consider good and bad. For example I remember getting told off at work place because I included “In God I trust” in my email signature. I get the evils when I add “By God’s grace within a statement by people who constantly fill the air waves with swearing, F’s and Puffs and all what not! Rather than shrink away, I managed to tell them that I would only stop talking about God if they also stopped swearing! ” Stop swearing please”,  I said But they laughed at me and said I was just being holy holy. How on earth can saying by God’s grace be a crime while saying fucking, bullshit and bloody hell are applauded!   Yeah, that’s the world we live in today. Sadly, it is the one we have to raise our children in. I dare say that some sermons appear over tailored for political correctness. Many preachers no longer want to be astute with their approach to the truth. Instead, they appear to pet the issue and be at the mercy of these ideologies. The good news is that, we can make a difference. We can help our children. Prayer as always is the key. The key to establishing a solid relationship with God lies in the strength of one’s prayer life. Prayers need not be long enough to distract from the purpose of building and establishing this ecclesiastical rapport. Prayer needs to be just enough to to connect with God and stay connected.   So what length of prayer is acceptable? Any! Yes …. So long prayers, short prayers, singing, quiet prayers and not so loud ones will do. The bible reassures us that God hears our thoughts (Psalm 139:23), Hannah’s prayer was silent in her heart and God heard her (1 Samuel 1:10,13),   Prayer does not need to be lengthy. Remember Jesus’ admonition for us to pray with few words and not ramble on (Matthew 6:7). We should also pray without ceasing. Meaning that we should cultivate a habit of prayer so that we are constantly in union with God in our hearts at all times.   Let’s say you an I understand all these concepts, how do we teach this to our little children. Children who would much rather play games, fiddle about with gadgets and have what appear to be the shortest attention spans since the inception of time. They are having more fun than all the children born in all the past eras joined together! It is certainly a huge challenge for the modern parent. My advice would be Keep prayers short. So that they will be interested in praying with you next time. There was nothing more annoying than my mum’s long, slow prayers when I was young. I heard myself say “Our father who at in heaven….. and mean it but by the time we were on the fourth psalm, all I wanted to do was sleep. Make prayers enjoyable. You can ask your child to add their own words. Praise every effort they make. Tell them you like how they pray. You like the way they sound. This will encourage them to pray and build their confidence Pray with your child. This gives you the opportunity to model prayer to your child. Choose simple words and avoid repetition Encourage your child to pray before most activities. Short ejaculatory prayers are effective for teaching children to invite God into every activity. For example, on your way out you can say “may God bless our journey and bring us home safely in Jesus name”. or “Bless my food O Lord God” before meals. Short simple prayers help children learn to include prayers into their daily activities. Be consistent. In consistency lies the power. Consistency helps create the pathway for children to follow. Even though the child seems uninterested, just carry on praying regularly. Thanks for reading Photo credit Pixabay

Raising the Christian child- Long prayers



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Some Positives   Did I just admit to myself that there have been some positives? Well, I guess it’s only fair to say so. Considering that I have   spent the past few days moaning about my hair.     Hmmmm….     Everyone has been so supportive. I have moaned about these dreadworms to anyone who has cared to listen. But I keep getting the same answer…. be patient. Let the locks do their thing they say. Everyone’s locks are different.   Even my dad, the King of impatience had something to say about my dreadworms   “Stop comparing yours with mine or others”   I get all that. I do not actually want another person’s dreads. Or am I?   Well I think not…but maybe a little.     Anyway, I am just fussing about how mine will turn out based on the info before me. I don’t want skinny locks but my sections are small. I don’t like the partitions but John says when the locks spring out it won’t matter cos I can style them anyhow I want. So yes, one good thing to come out from my locks has been a lot of love from everyone. I see them all trying to support me. They have helped me reach deep within myself into my shallow bowl of patience. I will say that their kind words have given me strength and reassurance. I feel that in their own way, they have given me more psychological strength and helped me unconsciously add to my bowl of patience. With each passing day despite my frustrations, I feel my bowl of patience grow deeper and stronger.       Another positive has been that since I had my dreadworms installed, I have not had to physically worry about making my hair. I have been more able to get on with life. My work has not suffered and I have been able to spend more time with my family. I have also saved a lot of money as a result.   What I did not bargain for was all the psychological noise that I have been experiencing. I look different, weird. I think that I have to get used to this new look first. When people look at me I keep feeling self conscious. But I don’t think that is to do with the stares. It’s to do with me. Every comment, sigh or glance just reinforces my inner insecurity. To successfully build my inner strength, I have to accept my new look first. I recognise that I will need time to adjust and so I have made plans to help me. I only open up my hair when I feel comfortable. I don’t rely on any validation from anyone.   That’s why I feel that these dreadworms are leading me towards a positive journey of self discovery.       My dreadworms have also made me crawl out of my shell. I have spoken more freely about my feelings than ever before. I feel more resilient because I have let myself use my ever-present support structures to build this resilience. Talking about my silliest feelings with my family and friends has also given them the chance to love me, to be kind to me and to support me. It’s very difficult when you tend to be the one who supports everyone. It has felt quite safe to be vulnerable around them for once!     So this week, my aim will be to focus on positives, love myself more, love my hair more, pray more and accept my dreadworms. I need to rest well, eat well, drink and sleep well. Basically, I have to create a good biological environment for my locks to thrive and do their thing as everyone keeps saying.     I counted John’s dreads and he has 83 locks. He counted mine back and I have 143 locks. I will no longer focus on the fact that 143 means the locks are way too small. But on the fact that it means that I will have very many locks to play with. They will be impressive. I have always had thick hair. I trust it to bulk up when it is ready.   My hair is like a baby. It’s just in its infancy. I can’t expect it to run right now, it has to sit, crawl, stand, wobble, walk, wobble again before it can run!     So lesson 1 on this journey, is Patience. The key to patience is a healthy distraction and that is what I will fill myself up with!   So catchya… as I head off to work!   To be continued   Photo credit Pixabay  

Dreadlocks: To be or not to be Part 5


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Every mature student who considers restarting their studies at university knows that it can be a nerve wracking prospect. Gone are the days when we used to submit applications on paper. Technology has replaced the need for long queues and endless procedures. When I decided to train as a nurse, I was not exempted from this confusion.  By the time I made up my mind, it was late in the year. This meant that I had to use the university clearing process. I was interviewed by the university’s clearing department about my experience of the process. It was very straight forward and not as scary as I had made it up to be in my head. I hope you enjoy reading the article. Cheers guys!   Which secondary school did you attend? I attended a secondary school in Nigeria about 20 years ago now. It had been a long time since I had undertaken any health-related subjects like biology. This created a lot of anxiety for me when I decided to change my career and undertake the nurse training program at Northampton University. What course are you studying? Learning disability nursing Why did you choose the course? I decided to undertake the learning disability nursing course following the loss of my son several months earlier. He was born with a life threatening condition known as Propionic-acidaemia. In a nutshell it compromised his body’s ability to bring down his proteins leading to a build-up of toxins in his blood known as ammonia. In the end he developed severe learning disabilities and autism in addition to a host of other complications. My life revolved around his care. I managed his nutrition and medication, maintained stock control for his, equipment, supplies, feeds and drugs. Following his demise, I realised that I had unintentionally acquired lots of skills. Although they were no longer required they were still potentially relevant to others. I found myself supporting other parents like me who had children with learning disabilities. I knew that I could carry on making a difference in their lives. I could not ignore the huge gap that losing my son had created in my life. At a point I became very apprehensive because I had skills that were on the verge of being lost following his death. I had painstakingly acquired them through my journey with my son and becoming deskilled felt like losing the last link to him. Prior to birthing my son and being thrust into the world of caring, I had trained as an economist at university. With several years of experience within the financial services sector, leading and managing teams under my belt, I decided to return to work. No sooner had I returned than I discovered that I had assumed the shape of the proverbial square peg within the round hole that was my old career. I just could not fit in anymore. My life experiences have made me a different person. I wanted more. With the weight of grief and the zeal to help parents combined, I envisioned a new dream. I had lots of lived experience but lacked the professional skills to underpin my practice. As much as I wanted to help I did not want to endanger both people with learning disabilities and their families. This led me to embark on the pursuit of a new career specifically in learning disability nursing. Why did you choose clearing? By the time I decided to join the course, it is a bit late in the year. I did not know if I would meet the University criteria for nursing. However I had my First degree in Economics, my GCSEs and a few certifications. I rang the University and told them about my circumstance. The person I spoke to was very empathetic and helpful. In the end, I took their advice to apply directly through the clearing route on UCAS. What was it like? The clearing process was very straightforward. I admit there were many pages to fill out but nothing unusual for an application. I filled out the forms online and uploaded all the relevant documents. After a few weeks I was contacted and invited for an interview before which I got offered a place on the course. What is the course like? I course is absolutely amazing. The Learning disability nursing cohort is a small group. This creates a personalised experience for me as a student during lectures. Most of the lecturers know us and this helps us build a rapport that makes the course more interesting. What you enjoyed the most? I have enjoyed the ease of forming relationships. It’s really easy to get along with other students in the different branches of nursing. The lectures are delivered through interactive seminars. Our lecturers encourage student input during sessions through discussions. I have also enjoyed using the resources made available to us by the University. I have gained lots of confidence by accessing the different types of support available within the University for Example the Learning development team, Personal academic tutor, Student support and much more. What would you say to someone who might not get the A-level grades they’d hoped for, but still want to go to uni? I will say don’t give up until you ring the university. It’s worth discussing the different options with the admissions team. In my personal experience I found them to be very approachable and easy to talk to. Although the process of filling out forms might feel a bit daunting, the fact that help is just a phone call away makes a big difference.   Here’s the article on the university website. It’s an abridged version. If you know the press like I do, they only use the best bits out of a long interview. Please click on the link to see it yourself. Thanks for reading. Written by Lauretta Ofulue Photo credit; Pixabay

Nursing Diaries: How did the university admission process go?



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I have just opened my eyes and its 4:20 am! Well, this has not happened by accident. It’s because I wanted to watch the boxing match everyone has been talking about for days. The hype for this match has been epic!. The WBC heavy weight title fight between Tyson Fury (TF) and Deontay Wilder (DW). For starters, when I watched the last pre-match interview, TF looked really different and in a good way. Trim, fit and awesome. But so did DW too. Trust boxers… each man had been telling us how good he was and how he would wipe the floor with the other. I really wanted to see it unfold firsthand. So I am very excited but rather than break the silence, I would put my thoughts down on paper. Let’s see if you enjoy the match as I am doing right now. Ring Entrance TF makes his entrance first. As I said earlier, he looks trimmer and sharper. He has also chopped off his signature beard. Errrmmm…. I am not too sure making too many changes is such a good idea. I am a gypsy at heart myself but we’ll see. Oh! something else has changed from the last two times I watched TF. The “return of the Mac music is not on cue”.  I am a bit worried now at this point. I just feel like he has jinxed the fight but we’ll see. DW. I was surprised that he was booed at he made his entrance. He is at home for Christ’s sake. We shall see what that is all about soon. Anyway, he enters the ring wearing a cloak with feathers all around the neck, a crown and half of a face mask. If his intention was to be a lion, he certainly missed the designing memo because he looks more like a vulture. He is not making any big body moves. He looks pretty calm considering all his pre match comments. Perhaps he is in the famous Zone that we hear athletes enter during competitions. But there is a thin line between entering the zone of athletics and entering the zone of fear. Hear ! Hear! Rounds 1-3 The first 3 rounds have been for TF so far in my opinion. Wilder has been unable to land any massive punches at this point. I hear DW will normally knock people out within the first 4 rounds. I just feel that if TF can  hold him off until the end of round 4 he will stand a chance… Round 4 DW seems to be coming out a bit more. More of those his famous right hooks beginning to show. But his reach is shorter than TF’s. DW has been very unable so far. He walked in looking like he was in the zone. But with each punch he is unable to land, I wonder if that was fear I saw in his eyes at the start. TF has been so confident, doing his foot walks, throwing punches and really moving around. DW just appears to be chasing him around most times. Round 5 This is our chance. Go TF! Sorry, did I just give away my bias? Come on, to be fair I am British so it’s not surprising. Compadre and all. First few seconds in and  I have seen a few combos from TF. Fatigue appears to be setting in now to on both sides. TF has not been very active in this round. His punches appear to have decelerated. Fewer punches, less movement. He is not as sharp as he was in the first few rounds. To be fair even though I hate to admit it, DW looks stronger in this round. Round 6 OMG I can’t believe the match is still on… I think DW has a plan and TF needs to be aware. TF has won the previous 5 rounds in my books. A flash card on the screen appears to have given round 2 to DW. Seriously, are these referees watching the same fight?  If he wins a few more, then DW will need a knock out to win.  DW is trying to reach but can’t seem to get to the gypsy king. I imagine that an unsuccessful punch would be more exhausting than land an actual punch. TF just locked in a few punch combos and DW had to use some high blocks to save himself. DW just finally landed a successful punch. He probably plans to knock out TF but that may not be a good idea for him because the gypsy king means business. Round 7 Wow. Round 7????? Here we are in round 7, I certainly did not see this coming. I really need a wee but I can’t bear to miss a moment! DW is not even able to land punches TF is controlling the fight. He looks confident and still active. Infact he looks stronger than he did in round 4. Nice right hand by TF now. Wow some nice combos too by DW and TF looked like he was in trouble as a result. In fact he had to lock DW to save himself. These punch combos seem to have boosted DW’s confidence. Psychologically that seems to have brought them back on equal grounds.  We can’t rule out DW. This was such an interesting round that it seemed shorter. Round 8 They have to dig deep now. It’s been a settled round so far. TF physically towers high above DW so much. It’s unbelievable that their height difference is 2″. TF’s confidence, foot walk and body language are all goading  DW. Some nice jab combo from TF at the moment and so far, he seems to be clinching this. TF is a total tease. The round ended with DW landing some nice jabs and TF’s body language appearing to suggest indifference. Round 9 This fight is turning out to be value for money for all TF’s fans. A swelling is quite visible now under DW’s right eye. It’s amazing how confident TF still looks. […]

Wilder vs Fury: WBC Boxing Championship Fight


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No way!   I feel absolutely disillusioned with my hair   This was meant to be a good idea. I lock my hair and live happily ever after. But that’s just not the case   Ok for starters, the lady locked my hair in sections that are not box like. The sections look like hand fans at the back and rectangles in front. I cannot understand why the sections in front differ from the ones at the back.   I hate that they are uneven. That’s the whole reason why I did not make the hair myself !   I kept telling her that the locks were small. She insisted that they will expand as the hair began to form the locks.   Then finally…   After drying the hair, she began snipping off the ends of my hair with a pair of scissors.   No warning…no notice…..   Just snip snip snippety snip!   What she did not realise was that with each snip, she tore at my heart.   I was in so much shock that I could not even react.  She did not even offer me an explanation about why she had chosen to cut my hair. Instead she said she could have cut it shorter but would leave the length as it was…   Seriously?   This woman had assumed power over me. She was controlling how long or short my hair would be. Opon reflection now, I realise that she may not have meant it that way but it did not stop me feeling that way. If she had communicated with me beforehand, I am sure I would not have felt so helpless. She probably thought she was helping… exercising her expertise over me. She was probably doing right by my hair but the fact that her decisions about my hair were hers and not arrived at in partnership with me heightened my anxiety. I felt like I was losing control over something as important to me as my hair.   It was my own hair….It sat on my head and would determine my appearance. I do not customarily add any make up on my face to enhance my appearance.   Can you imagine why my hair was so important to me? Reducing the length of it was an absolute no-no. The dry wintery weather had reduced my hair length already so I definitely did not want to add any deliberate snips to the length… at least not without any warning.   Any error with my hair meant that I risked looking absolutely stupid!   She did not even appear to listen to anything I was saying and it was really sad.   So here I am this morning, grieving my hair, horrible sections and petrified by the fact that the locks will be potentially thin dread worms.   Now that’s sad.  It just makes me feel so unlucky. Why do I always have to pass through emotional troughs just to gain new experiences?   That’s why I like to stick with things I know. Things with preset and certain pathways and outcomes are my forte. My anxiety is now heightened because I have absolutely no idea how this would go.   So this past week, I have spent more time in bed.   I keep staring at the mirror and fiddling with the hair.   Stupid sections.   Stupidly skinny dreadworms.    I just wished that I could actually remain in bed till the hair grew long or bulked up. This dreadlock business was turning out to be a very bad move. I could find absolutely no happiness. My self esteem and morale had nose dived.  I had the hair tied in a scarf to work. I could not even bear to let anyone else see the hair in case they reinforced my fears.   “Hey the hair is so beautiful”, said John, my ray of sunshine   “Well I don’t like it”, I said trying to stop us from having yet another session about my hair.   “What’s up with the dread worms today? He asked.   “The sections are horrible, they are skinny, she cut my hair…..   “I don’t know why you are saying all this”, he said cutting me   short.   “The hair is fine just leave it alone!” he snapped and I fell silent and withdrew back into my thoughts.   That’s it! I can’t even have a moan. I just feel stuck with this hair.   Why can’t I just remove it?   Well that will be £55 gone for starters. But worse than that, my hair has been cut short. I am not sure at this point which would depress me more. Unravelling the dreadworms and beholding my new short hair or persevering with these stupid locks. I would also feel like a failure if I gave up on the hair after only a week. I needed to see this through at least till the 6-week mark that the stylist set me. Who knows, I might feel differently by then.even though I seriously doubt it.   As for the world, they have no clue how I feel inside. There is nothing worse than someone I am paying my hard earned money to making my hair in the way they think is best not in the way I want. It just makes me feel bullied. Then, when I try to say how I feel, people around me make me feel like a complaint minister.   So what do I do? Just suck it up. But do I really have to?   “Babe, come on let me take you out”, John said cutting through my thoughts like a knife.   “Stop thinking about this hair. I am so sorry if I sounded harsh but this hair really suits you. I wish you could see what I see”, he said.   With that I smiled at least week one was over.   To be continued.   Photo Credit Pixabay      

Dreadlocks: To be or not to be Part 4