Monthly Archives: May 2017


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Looking ahead can be impossible when you loose someone you love. I welcome you to unite your heart with mine today. We lose the ones we love in different ways. Some fall out of love with us, some abandon us and some unfortunately…die. Of all the losses, death stings the hardest because with death comes a finality. In death lies the impossibly of a reunion with the loved one at least not in this world. However, in death lies freedom. Freedom from all the limitations that life can bring. Limitations of suffering, poverty, distance , time and even … sickness. Death can conjur sad memories… only if you let it. We all experience our thoughts. If you think about something hard enough, you will feel it soon enough. When we lose someone we love, let us be comforted by the life we once shared with them. Let us experience the thoughts about the good times, the happy times, the laughter, the gains, the milestones. This is an important gift from them to us.The privilege of sharing in their joys and sufferings can not be taken away by death. Therefore no matter how death chooses to come, let us experience those thoughts. Let us realise that death is the ultimate end to the journey of all life. There are no timescales. When it’s time, it’s time. Sometimes it feels too short in our eyes but it is long enough for the deceased. “Fulfilment is not found in the number of days lived. It is found in the unquenchable joy that fills each day. Life may be short but the joy that fills each moment makes it perfect!”… Let us allow those feelings take their roots in our heart. The more you think it, the more you believe it. Let us forget the if’s, why’s and but’s that bring tears and focus on the gratitude of being part of the story of what was once the life of the one that once shared our lives. I love you all very dearly and I thank you for supporting us through this most difficult time. So I ask you “Is there any one you have lost to distance, heartbreak or quarrel?” You have the chance today to make your peace with them and be part of their story again. Don’t leave it till too late you never know what lies around the corner. Make that call you if have the time today!   Thank you for reading. Photo credit: Pixabay. You can watch the video by clicking below. Cheers

Death at my door (D.A.M.D) Part 7 Looking ahead after a loss…stay strong!


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I cannot really understand what it is that some women mean when they claim to promote feminism. They base such feminist ideas on things that do anything but enable the budding female embrace her femininity. You see, unlike most females, I am personally not shaped like a bottle in figure 8. I am not the most beautiful among the bunch neither am I the fanciest. What I am is anything but perfect but then “I am me!” Just me… Should feminism encourage me to disassociate from my true self? Should it force me to disengage with the reality of the “me”I see when I stand in all my glory before a chival mirror? Should feminism make me want to begin to adopt and imbibe styles to enable me conform with the ideology of “what a woman should look like?”  To begin to look more “feminine” as some thinkers propose? Why can each female not be seen individually and celebrated without comparison? Why should much of the feminist ideologies be centred around the utopian idea of whom and what a woman should look like? Age is one thing that is seldom kind to the female species. Yet even with the foreknowledge of this never-ending disagreement between age and womankind, females still always engage in a constant battle to defy and conquer age but to no avail. The female anatomy with the passage of time finds itself mercilessly dealt with at the hands of good old age. From the sound of the whistle blowing at puberty, the body of the female begins to transform. Breasts sprout tenderly like succulent cherries while the hips and bellies curve and flatten out respectively- although not for all. Next comes the blow dealt at childbearing females who in time begin to lose the battle slowly and mostly surely. The one-time Cherry Blossom breasts begin to look down south. The flat bellies sag after doing their childbearing duties. The roundness spreads from the hips to other areas of the body. This is a sign of womanhood- femininity, once upheld and celebrated by our grand and great grandmothers. Now some feminist ideologies want to make us see these inevitable occurrences as problems. Capitalists sell the “need” for transformation and perpetual agelessness to these group of women as the final stamp/seal of approval. They make it look like every woman has to stay “pubertised” for ever. Icons of so-called feminism parade naked to show their love for the bodies and unknowingly teach our budding girls to devalue the most intricate core of femininity- nudity. Many feminists are pressured into dressing and appearing in particular ways, eating foods and making all forms of fashion statements as though deviating would be a crime. Tell me how many women like their faces in the morning? How many love their bellies and bottoms as they are? Many real-life women now spend all their psychological strength on products and lifestyle choices that are designed by the capitalists to keep them coming back for more. Ultimately enriching these merchants and seldom delivering on their body transformation promises. When will we learn as women to love ourselves as we are and stop worrying about how others view us? If a person would ignore everything about you… The full package that is you and micro analyse your face, your shape, your smile, your dress sense and so on as the basis for forming an impression about you then perhaps that person is the one with the problem not you. As much as there are things out there that enhance our looks and some might argue “self esteem” we wonder how sustainable that esteem will be in the end if it depends solely on external praise and conformity. Perhaps we need to work on ourselves more and believe in ourselves more so that other people can take us more seriously. Real females need to accept themselves for who they are. Nobody is perfect and the quest for perfection is usually futile. You can attain it, but only temporarily, the real you still resides with you and at the end of the day, it is a reality you have to still confront. One of the more difficult sexes to exist as is female because of the demands imposed on them by everyone even including women. Worse still, the highest pressure on a female comes from within the female herself. They tend to expect too much from themselves by wanting their bodies to do too much and this puts pressure on them. For example it takes nine months of pregnancy to pile up weight on most women, yet they expect to lose it in five minutes. While many magic methods to attain this are advertised, in reality, different women may or may not achieve this especially in that short time. Women are exposed to different circumstances, eating and sleeping patterns, metabolisms, geographies etc. All these play their roles in determining the success of failure of the weight loss project. Yet a typical woman will still pressure herself and asked too much of her body. To be continued… Thank you for reading If you enjoyed reading this article there are many others like it on this website. You can find them here. Photo credit: Pixabay                      

Should we all really be Feminists? (Stay true to the woman within) Part 1



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Today in the house we had the privilege of receiving this message from one of you. He is very popular for his emotional write ups here at WHHQ. He is simply known as Ezimen. Well he shared a tip that we feel can help us deal with one of the most popularly unresolved feelings we experience quite frequently as individuals- anger. Anger can be triggered in nearly all types of relationships. It can lead to breakups whether justified or not. When I asked him what his best tip for anger management was he said “communication”. In his own words “Communication is very important and it’s the only way to manage anger without committing a sin”. I also asked him about how one can break the communication barrier when emotions are very high. Interestingly his response was “by writing”. “A simple note, text or write up can soothe an angry person”. Words have the power of healing and mending things once applied correctly. The media used to express words does not diminish its restorative ability. By words, we can properly communicate our otherwise misunderstood feelings. It doesn’t matter if the words come through your voice, pen or fingers (via texting). Below is a sample of one of such heartfelt apologies as written by Ezimen himself: I did not deal with my anger properly, I was sulking instead of dealing with my anger about what happened. I let my pride get in the way. Normally, I would have managed the situation better but I allowed myself dwell on the feeling. It spiralled out of control. Since we are bound to hurt each other from time to time perhaps next time we can agree on how best to deal with situations like these. We spoke yesterday and apologised to each other – I like that. We can build on that and try not to hold things against each other. I was sulking and I know you didn’t like that. I was hurt because of my pride and anger. So can we talk about things that we disagree on when we feel less angry? I apologise – do forgive. Thank you Ezimen for your advice. Thanks also for stopping by. Here at Whispering Hope we are committed to supporting aspiring writers. If you also have something you will like to express then do contact us. Have a lovely day guys! Thanks for reading You may also like others from this series About the author : Ezimen is a professional in the daytime. He loves writing, travelling and having fun! Do you know that you can now submit a post like this? To find out how, click here. Perhaps you fancy reading from others in the community? Find other articles here. Thank you Photo credit : Pixabay

You can write to say sorry… By Ezimen


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Him: It kills me to write this to you but I have to be in touch with reality. The truth is, affections are mostly never enough for a healthy relationship. We have to constantly work to build what people may perceive as a perfect relationship. Ours is one that is drifting at the moment like a floater on water. I can’t start to explain how difficult it is for me to not see you as often I want to and I know you feel that way too. While I admit that I am a sucker for attention,  I also want to dote and cater to your every need. The way our relationship is currently going, I can’t share your excitements and disappointments on a daily basis. Sadly, there is only so much technology can. I will not blame you if you think I am giving up on us before really trying. However, you will agree with me that we are both at phases in our lives that cannot be uprooted and changed completely. How can I ask you to leave your current identity just to be in the same city as me? This is particularly difficult because we have history … beautiful history. I am taking a closer look at our relationship and feel that I have to be as practical and fair as I am emotional. That is because I respect you too much to give a half effort at this. Instead, I am asking that we build a friendship that would transcend time and space to enable us get settled with the new roles in our individual lives. We must do this without dragging all the uncertainty that characterises our relationship into this narrative. Trust me when I say that I know how you will feel after reading this. I feel that letting it go on for too long would only cause both of us more pain. I have and would always be crazy about you. I am now left with the dream about how actually spending my waking moments with you would have been. I am now only left with memories of how I used to actually share my fears with you,  goof around with you and just be with you as I know how to. I have so much yet to do in my life and it would be unfair to ask you to stand by my side all through considering the place I am right now in my life. I am battling to convince myself that I am capable of achieving my every dream. I don’t want to lose you, yet I know I have to let you go so that  you can find true happiness with someone who would recognise all he has been searching for in you. You deserve a place in the heart of a man that would live his life with a sole purpose of giving you the best always. You deserve to be treated like a queen, loved like a sister and cherished like a treasure.   Her: The fact that you conceived the idea of having me fulfil another man’s desires makes me wonder if you truly treasure me as you say. You have left me shattered into a million pieces with your words. I will break along with my heart if you let me go. There will not really be any reason to carry on aspiring and trying to be all you think I desire to be if you are not here right next to me to share it with. I dream because you dreamt first. I aspire because you showed me the way. You have been my hero since you became mine and so I have allowed myself take my lead from you. What makes you believe that the answer to the question that has not been pronounced is no. The worst judgement a man can face is one for which he was never allowed to stand accused. It would have been my decision and not yours if ever it was brought to my knowledge. You have not asked and so you cannot be sure about how I will answer. Each word of your letter although heartfelt stabbed me as I blinked away tears. The tears were not because of your rejection but of the fact that you belittled what we have. Is our love so weak that it cannot withstand the storm? Is our ambition so strong that we will forgo the love we share? What will be the use if we become all we ever want to be without the very other half to share it with. I will rather a million years in your arms than a million dollars in my account. I will rather take the fall than to be a thousand miles apart from you. I grieve the love we shared because I too have begun to wonder if it was real? That you can give up on our love because of all you want to be makes me wonder now where I truly reside on your scale of importance. It went without saying when you got transferred and progressed in your career that something had to give. At no point did I envisage that I was to be the sacrificial lamb for your success. How you can bear the thought that I would prefer to be with another makes me wonder what you think I meant when I told you that I loved you more than anything in the world. My bags were packed the moment your news came. I was going to surprise you with the news that I had been given the go ahead to set up shop in the town you now call home. As I read your letter today I was so broken that I unpacked my bag. The realisation that if it were I who had to relocate you would choose your career over me is a heavy blow that I cannot recover from easily. I am not sure I can undo my relocation to the place right next to you because it has now been signed and sealed. What I can tell you for nothing is that this […]

Letters for her…by Ezimen



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Today on the D.A.M.D series, there is a bit of a twist I must say. Did you notice something different about the title today?  I omitted my usual “Musings of a grieving parent” caption. You did? Well done!!!  It is with good reason though. Today, the piece is about a grieving parent but not my muse. It is a poem sent in to me by a very special friend Agatha. I have know her for the type of short while that feels like ages. If you have ever met someone who fills your life with joy and the beauty of her intelligence, then you have a friend like the one I bagged in Agatha. She plaits words and has a distinct voice that pierces through her work. I find myself  feeling very excited every time I read from her. Special thanks to you her for this lovely poem. I am really touched by the words and the web of emotions that I continue to experience overtime I read it. She has a fantastic blog where she shares her special romance with the webs she alone can twist with words. Please make sure that you can check it out here. Its called Black girl wanderlust.  I hope you enjoy it too. The beauty of poetry is the way its meaning transcends all intention. Enjoy! Now. There is a boy-sized hole in her heart That is the twin of the child-sized pain sitting In the pit of her belly. In the pit of her belly Where he first resided before he was Where his sinews were joined with bone And flesh was wrapped around his awesomeness. Now it is an empty room Where the fire of his smile has gone out And the ghosts of his memories flit around in the shadow. II That slight quaver you hear in her voice – No, that is not the sound of shattering glass Nor the hint of quiet desperation as it seeps Through a tightly woven mask of placid acceptance This – this here is the sound of a willow; supple Swaying gently in buffeting winds Safe in the knowledge that though this river swelled, Swelled and burst its banks Though its raging waters lap at her roots like tongues of fire She will not be swept away. They hold firm, her roots; Buried deep in a nest of love   Thank you for reading. You may also like to read other articles like this. They can be found here. Photo Credit: Pixabay.

Death at my door D.A.M.D Part 6 A Poem – By Agatha (Poet and scholar)


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  So here is this seemingly innocent dude. He believed in “love and living happily ever after”. Once in his life he found the one. Little did he know that he was about to be introduced into a world of heartbreak, deceit, lust and sex. In fairness to him, he kept striving to find the one as he had always pictured (oh yes… guys do that too!) but he kept giving love. Life kept taking from him and giving him nothing in return. A series of events had redefined this young lad and built him to be who he was- someone who had fallen out of love with LOVE. Here is strike one – Guy meets girl, and for the purpose of clarity we shall call the beautiful lady Sharon and the guy Zuchi. Sharon was a goddess; she was so pretty that it scared him. They both met at a matriculation event where he got introduced to her by his sister as her course mate. From that moment he could barely take his eyes off her. Zuchi made small talk and found out that she was also funny and smart. The day went on better than he had hoped. Sadly like every good thing that comes to an end, so did the day! He wondered if knowing Sharon should end with the day but decided against it. He realised that if he played his cards right, then it could be the start of something beautiful. Sharon began to make her way home. As she started to leave he reached for her hand. He looked down at her and asked if he could see her again. She said she was going to be busy over the next couple of weeks and so could not assure him of her availability. Well at least, it was not a no! Therefore, he settled for her number. The next couple of weeks and months were blissful. They spent most of the time talking and texting non-stop on the phone. He tried to arrange a proper date but that didn’t happen as quickly as he had hoped. School was in full swing and both parties got busy with their respective schedules.  One evening, Zuchi decided to find time to visit her at her hostel. That was the best decision. It became easier for them to see each other more often. They always met up after classes and just talked. At other times they took walks, sometimes they even ate together. They just enjoyed each other’s company. He got a little carried away with their arrangement thinking that all he needed to do was profess his love for her and she would be his forever. Luckily, he came up with a plan to tell her exactly how he felt about on Valentine’s Day. Zuchi got the perfect gift and headed to Sharon’s hostel to unburden his heart. He could finally get the woman he had always wanted to call his. When he got there he met two dudes already there to see her. Zuchi was surprised because he had informed Sharon the day before that he was coming to spend the day with her and she had agreed. He didn’t mind though as he acknowledged the guys’ presence. He went in to greet Sharon with a peck but she ducked and opted instead for a side hug. At that moment he began to reassess the scenario he had walked into. Zuchi kept telling himself that he was over analysing it all. He spent the next half hour trying to make conversation with her but she seemed to split her attention seamlessly amongst her three guests. After a while, Zuchi just decided to end the most awkward experience he had ever been in. He reached into his pocket brought out his gift and gave it to her. She collected it from him and smiled. She mouthed the words “happy Valentine’s  Day dear”,  and then Zuchi left. Zuchi left the room thinking and contemplating every second he had just spent in her hostel. He told himself that he would get another opportunity to tell her that he was in love with her. That night he decided to tell her everything. He couldn’t wait till the next time they were together. It was 9.59 pm when he left his room.  He headed straight to Sharon’s. All through the journey, he kept rehearsing his lines and trying make them as smooth as ever. In reality, he didn’t care too much about the delivery. All he hoped for was the courage to say all he had to say. He had held back his feelings every minute and every second he was with her. Zuchi got to Sharon’s door but hesitated for a second or two. He could hear Coldplay’s “In my place” playing lightly in the background. “Yes, the stars are aligning for this” he thought to himself. The mood was definitely right for him to pour his heart out to her. With a deep breath he knocked on the door. “oh!!!!!! Bimpe don’t come back here to ask for anything again”, Sharon barked. Bimpe was Sharon’s nosey neighbour who was always borrowing one thing or the other even up to food items. Sharon opened the door with a frown that quickly turned into shock as soon as she realised that it wasn’t Bimpe at the door. She looked straight at him and started shaking uncontrollably. He moved to hold the shaking arm with which she held the door. Zuchi was also trying to understand her reaction to seeing him. She looked like she had seen a ghost. He tried to go in but she didn’t move. She stood firm, blocking him with the door slightly open now as he held her arm. Zuchi then opened the door wide so he could hold her as she seemed like she was about to completely fall off balance. She was muttering stuff he couldn’t understand. In the dim light he could see a […]

Falling out of love…with love. By Ezimen