Monthly Archives: December 2016


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So everyone before you has tried it and every single time they failed… You are warned and told that you will not like it so the safe thing will be to stay away. You decide to chart a new course, to find a new territory to explore. Yet even as you do the new things you cannot seem to shake off your self-belief concerning the dream you left behind. Yes! Others have failed…. Yes! Nobody has gained…. Every single time they come up with losses. One fact you fail to see is that the only person who has not yet tried is YOU. Perhaps you are the one who needs to do things differently. It has not yet been done in the way “you” will do it. Even if you follow the same patterns the fact that it’s your turn to do it may be all  that is needed to make a difference. It may be all it takes to break the jinx, to crack the egg that only you can see within the stone of doubt that surrounds you. The doubt you see may be the shroud that nature has used to disguise it to everyone as impossible in order to preserve your moment. Some songs have been sung before yet everyone stands still when you open your lips. Your stamp may be all we need to put on it to make it unique. It’s your signature on things that may make or mar their success. How will you know the direction that things will take (good or bad) if you don’t try? Have you not heard that you have to be in it to win it? Nobody ever tried by getting comfortable on the fence. You have to step out of your comfort zone to push boundaries beyond your reach. Only then will you discover the strengths within which is what you should seek. That strength is the ace that resides way up your sleeves. It allows you to express your talent in a unique way that makes your dream accomplishable. You will remain unaware of the full extent of your gifts until you  move towards the unreachable depths, the deep recesses of your soul. Then shall these strengths be released and made available from nature for you to access. So do not try to justify why it may be that you have the answer to the riddle that has never been solved. Do not let man-made reasons which may be true steal your self-belief and leave you wandering endlessly without purpose. If you do not start to fulfill the purpose for which you were born, there will be no balm to calm you down as you struggle within to bring things to being. You must try to get on with things until you find a reason to live. To stop is to fail and To listen can sometimes be to derail from the masterpiece that you alone can create. The piece will only be made with the perfect mixture of ingredients only you possess. What you have inborn can never come to life if you don’t try. So next time you believe, weed self-doubt and conspiracy theories woven by people filled with defeat or over cautiousness. Their intentions may not be to stop you from getting there. They may assume that you will do things the same old ways and end up the same way that they did- in defeat. Sometimes it’s because they care that they keep coming to reinforce the impossibility of your dream. It won’t be your dream if they could explain it all to you. It is only you who can tell what you see deep down when you look within. You can defy the kiln by stepping in and giving it all you’ve got. The shot you take may be all it takes to shatter the barriers. The circumstances that caused their failure may be just what you need to succeed. After all they say, It is the you in you that makes you the you that you are! Believe in yourself… Thank you for reading. You may also like other articles in this series. Click here Photo credit: Pixabay

It’s your turn…so believe in yourself.


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There are sometimes when you cannot help. There are some people you cannot save. There are dreams you cannot make come true. There are circumstances you cannot fix. It’s not because you are weak. It’s not because you are mean. It’s just because you are strong enough to realise you do not have all the answers they seek. It’s only then that you will know that you cannot save everyone you meet. There are times you want to solve a problem so badly it hurts. There are times you have to realise that as much as you want to make things okay they cannot be mended. There are times you get sucked into every problem thinking you hold all the solutions. There are times you get so worked up that you cannot see that you don’t have the answer. Maybe it’s because this puzzle is already broken. Some parts are missing and so it cannot really be solved. It’s not about what you have not done right, it’s just that it cannot be fixed. It is only sincerity that helps you see that it is time to stop trying. To let things go so that they can slip away. It is emotion that keeps you bound to all the reasons why you should hold on to what needs to be set free. Some battles will surely be lost because the victory is too costly to celebrate. So you realise soon enough that although you lose them, the loss is cheaper than the victory. It’s time to take back control… To control how you let things make you feel, to stop the circumstance from pulling you in. So that this time maybe you won’t feel it’s mean to see that is not down to you to always be the one to keep it real. You need to control your emotions and stand firm with the decision that stepping away is what you need to do to help things heal. When you try to find the right words, search deep within you and you  will see that silence will be loud enough to fill the heart that seems to sink in despair. So you find that by standing aside you let things slip back into position. Some relationships cannot be mended. Not because of want of trying but because they have come to a point where like a rope they are severed. By trying to mend them you keep going round in circles and coming back to the beginning, to the point where the problem started and like before they start to pull at your heart. Throw in the towel and choose your battles. If you delay you may lose yourself with each arrow off hurt that finds and strikes you. This thing will eat you like a cancer in your soul. It will take over all your sense of reason. It will feel like the more you try, the more your efforts get frustrated. As you keep trying to fix the unfixable, it damages you more. Soon you will look in the mirror and the one you see is someone who definitely did not exist before all this stuff began. You look deep inside and you know that you cannot even recognise this person you see. The one you have become since you refused to let things be. Instead of letting the circumstances take all control. Perhaps it’s time to take the bold step by saying goodbye to show the strength you have and preserve your self-respect. Self belief keeps you trusting that this road you have chosen is for the best. It may not be good for everyone but what matters is that it is good enough to keep you in check. That’s when you will see that waking up from the slumber of self deceit is far from a display of weakness but rather it’s a show of the strength within. Self-knowledge helps you know that the outcome will be the same again. You can move on to preserve your strength and focus on other battles you can win. If you keep choosing your battles rightly you will realise that things are not static. You will win some and you will lose some. It’s the way it has always been from time immemorial before you even came into being. Thank you for reading You can click here for more articles like this. Photo credit: Pixabay

When it’s time to take back control



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One thing people must do is … wrong us. Another thing they always do is …make mistakes. We all know this yet every time it happens,we lament. We get upset and the funniest part is that we are always surprised. The truth is that there is really no need for lamentations and surprises. We just have to accept that it is human nature to do wrong; it is human nature to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect only God is perfect. We too are also guilty of offending others and making mistakes. Many of the errors we commit happen unknowingly without any intention. Unfortunately that does not make us less guilty. Every time we point one finger, the other four keep pointing back at us… and with good reason. It is good for us to sometimes pause when we are about to carry out our actions in order to put ourselves in the other party’s shoes. When we feel offended do we expect understanding? Will we feel we deserve a chance to be allowed to explain? Perhaps we might even desire that our wrongdoings be brought to our attention so that we can make amends. If we feel that any of these questions describe our feeling in different situations, then perhaps we need to take our foot off the anger pedal and just forgive. Forgive others even before they realise they are wrong. Forgiveness is difficult to exercise but powerful enough to free your heart of anger and worry.  Realise that if people were wise, they would not go about offending others…especially you. Don’t let yourself go crazy because of their own errors of judgement. Apart from the bible asking us to do unto others what we want them to do to us, it annoyingly says we have to forgive 70*7 times. Sometimes I get angry with those Jesus’s disciples for asking too many questions. Their inquisitive nature gave rise to this decree. Now we must obey because we can no longer claim ignorance. They allowed Jesus to give a clear order on forgiveness to the extent that Jesus brings it up in the Lord’s Prayer – “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Therefore in not so many words, as long as we hold on to grudges, we are asking God not to forgive us! Now it gets even worse – Matthew 5:23 – 24 takes it a step further: i call it the peace making decree: It says if you are about to dance happily to the altar and suddenly remember that “your brother has something against you” then stop and find him, make peace, before you continue that altar dance! Seriously?!?! Not only do you have to make peace with someone you have offended ( which honestly seems logical) , you also have to  look for those who have offended you (who by the way you may not want to hear about) Chai!! Na you do me wrong but na me go beg! To me, illogical!! However, our God up there thinks in ways different from us (Isaiah 55:8). Unfortunately, the way that may seem right to me (like begrudging my brother for wronging me) may lead to my destruction (proverb 14:12). So I have to obey God (1 Samuel 15:22). Obedience is better than sacrifice. One thing I always do even against my own personal wish, is follow God’s commandment. It’s hard but it gets easier with time. Like everything else in life, (“na to start na im hard pass” –meaning that things are more difficult to begin with) but constant practice leads to perfection. If you resolve today to hold no grudge and start making peace with others,before long it will become second nature. Do you know what the best part is? You will be doing God’s will! So today, let our prayer be – God teach us how to forgive all around us, you gave us the ultimate example on the cross, and you asked God to forgive us as we know not what we do. Help us to realise that those who wrong us know not what they do and so deserve our forgiveness in Jesus name, amen. Please make peace with someone today. I know by God’s grace that as you read this piece, the names of those who have wronged you or those you have wronged might spring to your mind. Don’t ignore the urge to make peace, stop holding on to the pain they caused. Take the first step, make that call, and find that person. We all join you in prayers; let Jesus do the rest as he is a man of peace. If you let him, he will pour his peace into your life today and always.  I leave you with a quote by Charlotte Bronte which my father taught me when I was little – “life appears to me to be too short to be spent in registering wrongs and nursing animosity”. Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this article, then trust me… you will love my meditations too! Look here to see them. Photo credit: Pixabay.

The Dilemma of forgiveness


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I remember when Otito was born… Life went wrong. We felt lost. In an instant everything came crashing down on us. We were at the centre trying to make sense of it all. A simple birth had turned out to be a disaster… One that was heading in the direction of the disaster we had a few years earlier. At times we reached out to others but it felt like the more we did the more we were misunderstood. Social circles disappeared, best friends walked away. Not because they did not care but because they could not care. They lacked in them the ability to be for us the comfort we sought in the new circumstance we found dictating our lives. It would have been easier to bury our head in the sand and pretend that by locking away our feelings, our problem will disappear and Otito will be perfect. But we knew that although the ground we stood on was sinking, we still had to find a way.  It was only then that we were able to raise our head up from the sand. That was when we understood that we were never alone to start with. We were surrounded by people who wanted to help. They were all new to us, but they could only take our hands if we reached out. That is what we saw when we found you …. We saw your smile and it gave us hope. We heard your voice and filled us with joy. It was not the kind of joy or hope that made our pain go away. It was rather the kind that melted away the fear. You have stood by us from near and from afar. You look after us as a family. To you it’s just a job. To us it is a lifeline, a job only you do best. We know sometimes you get it wrong and nobody said you were perfect but the fact that you keep trying means Otito’s life is what fighting for. You see, you came into our lives when we were at our lowest. We thought all hope was lost when our son Otito was diagnosed. But you did one beautiful thing. You never hid anything from us about the full extent of our reality. We have never felt ignored, fooled or taken for granted. You have treated us with respect and preserved our dignity as a family in more ways than one. The more we reached out to you, the more you stood firmly by us. Always reassuring and never pushing us away. We could never have carried this burden without your expert help and strength. For this we are thankful…. The end of the year for most people ushers in the yuletide season but for us it means way more than that. It is always a time of reflection for us as a family… a time when our consciousness is drawn to how lucky we are to still have Otito in our lives. The end of this particular year marks the fourth year in the fight to keep Otito alive and stable. It has been by far the most difficult year for him as a person. In our eyes it has also been the year when the depth of your knowledge about his condition has been tested the most, weighed on a scale but never found wanting. There have been times when we have wondered about the sense and worth of this fight…times when the illness has made Otito less of a boy and more of a patient. Times when he has been reduced into a literal ball of pain curled up in his cot. At those times our strength has been drawn not just by Otito’s zest for life but by the reassurance of your expertise and unrivalled professionalism in carrying out the duty of care to him. We have found our way as a family. We have found our rhythm during this most difficult year but never without you all being beacons shining brightly and pointing us in the right direction. There have been those who touched our lives in ways that have not been medical but which we have found invaluable. Some found us and touched our lives without even knowing us directly. Although they remain far away from us, their contributions and works of charity have doused the fire of stress and chaos that sometimes envelop us as a family. Their efforts have nearly eliminated our confusion and struggle at times. Some others have supported us emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually with their prayers. We thank …. Rays of sunshine, Gosh Charity, Family fund, Newlife Charity, Campbell burns trust…Just to name a few… You plastered a huge smile on our faces when you touched our lives and spilled that ray of hope in Otito’s life. Let your benefactors know that your drops of kindness to us although little to you, were big enough to enlarge our ocean of love and support. He may never personally understand your kindness but we see his positive energy and know that if he could he would appreciate you. We thank you all… For everyone who runs, walks or clicks their glass to different charities we want you to know that your kindness has touched us in different ways and made us believe that love and kindness still reside in this world. We thank the huge online community who have supported us by reading, liking and sharing the content on our website. Your kind comments and e-mails have meant the world to us all here at the Whispering Hope HQ. We also thank The Naked Convos for providing us with a good constructive distraction. We say thank you…. As we step into this New Year with Otito, we have no idea if our rollercoaster ride with him will be bumpier than we are used to. What we hope for is that however high or low it goes, it should be smooth. We know we’re not alone and trust in your presence directly or indirectly in […]

An Ode for Otito as he turns 4…Dedicated to every one who has ever supported us.Thank you!