Yearly Archives: 2016


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There are sometimes when you cannot help. There are some people you cannot save. There are dreams you cannot make come true. There are circumstances you cannot fix. It’s not because you are weak. It’s not because you are mean. It’s just because you are strong enough to realise you do not have all the answers they seek. It’s only then that you will know that you cannot save everyone you meet. There are times you want to solve a problem so badly it hurts. There are times you have to realise that as much as you want to make things okay they cannot be mended. There are times you get sucked into every problem thinking you hold all the solutions. There are times you get so worked up that you cannot see that you don’t have the answer. Maybe it’s because this puzzle is already broken. Some parts are missing and so it cannot really be solved. It’s not about what you have not done right, it’s just that it cannot be fixed. It is only sincerity that helps you see that it is time to stop trying. To let things go so that they can slip away. It is emotion that keeps you bound to all the reasons why you should hold on to what needs to be set free. Some battles will surely be lost because the victory is too costly to celebrate. So you realise soon enough that although you lose them, the loss is cheaper than the victory. It’s time to take back control… To control how you let things make you feel, to stop the circumstance from pulling you in. So that this time maybe you won’t feel it’s mean to see that is not down to you to always be the one to keep it real. You need to control your emotions and stand firm with the decision that stepping away is what you need to do to help things heal. When you try to find the right words, search deep within you and you  will see that silence will be loud enough to fill the heart that seems to sink in despair. So you find that by standing aside you let things slip back into position. Some relationships cannot be mended. Not because of want of trying but because they have come to a point where like a rope they are severed. By trying to mend them you keep going round in circles and coming back to the beginning, to the point where the problem started and like before they start to pull at your heart. Throw in the towel and choose your battles. If you delay you may lose yourself with each arrow off hurt that finds and strikes you. This thing will eat you like a cancer in your soul. It will take over all your sense of reason. It will feel like the more you try, the more your efforts get frustrated. As you keep trying to fix the unfixable, it damages you more. Soon you will look in the mirror and the one you see is someone who definitely did not exist before all this stuff began. You look deep inside and you know that you cannot even recognise this person you see. The one you have become since you refused to let things be. Instead of letting the circumstances take all control. Perhaps it’s time to take the bold step by saying goodbye to show the strength you have and preserve your self-respect. Self belief keeps you trusting that this road you have chosen is for the best. It may not be good for everyone but what matters is that it is good enough to keep you in check. That’s when you will see that waking up from the slumber of self deceit is far from a display of weakness but rather it’s a show of the strength within. Self-knowledge helps you know that the outcome will be the same again. You can move on to preserve your strength and focus on other battles you can win. If you keep choosing your battles rightly you will realise that things are not static. You will win some and you will lose some. It’s the way it has always been from time immemorial before you even came into being. Thank you for reading You can click here for more articles like this. Photo credit: Pixabay

When it’s time to take back control


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One thing people must do is … wrong us. Another thing they always do is …make mistakes. We all know this yet every time it happens,we lament. We get upset and the funniest part is that we are always surprised. The truth is that there is really no need for lamentations and surprises. We just have to accept that it is human nature to do wrong; it is human nature to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect only God is perfect. We too are also guilty of offending others and making mistakes. Many of the errors we commit happen unknowingly without any intention. Unfortunately that does not make us less guilty. Every time we point one finger, the other four keep pointing back at us… and with good reason. It is good for us to sometimes pause when we are about to carry out our actions in order to put ourselves in the other party’s shoes. When we feel offended do we expect understanding? Will we feel we deserve a chance to be allowed to explain? Perhaps we might even desire that our wrongdoings be brought to our attention so that we can make amends. If we feel that any of these questions describe our feeling in different situations, then perhaps we need to take our foot off the anger pedal and just forgive. Forgive others even before they realise they are wrong. Forgiveness is difficult to exercise but powerful enough to free your heart of anger and worry.  Realise that if people were wise, they would not go about offending others…especially you. Don’t let yourself go crazy because of their own errors of judgement. Apart from the bible asking us to do unto others what we want them to do to us, it annoyingly says we have to forgive 70*7 times. Sometimes I get angry with those Jesus’s disciples for asking too many questions. Their inquisitive nature gave rise to this decree. Now we must obey because we can no longer claim ignorance. They allowed Jesus to give a clear order on forgiveness to the extent that Jesus brings it up in the Lord’s Prayer – “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Therefore in not so many words, as long as we hold on to grudges, we are asking God not to forgive us! Now it gets even worse – Matthew 5:23 – 24 takes it a step further: i call it the peace making decree: It says if you are about to dance happily to the altar and suddenly remember that “your brother has something against you” then stop and find him, make peace, before you continue that altar dance! Seriously?!?! Not only do you have to make peace with someone you have offended ( which honestly seems logical) , you also have to  look for those who have offended you (who by the way you may not want to hear about) Chai!! Na you do me wrong but na me go beg! To me, illogical!! However, our God up there thinks in ways different from us (Isaiah 55:8). Unfortunately, the way that may seem right to me (like begrudging my brother for wronging me) may lead to my destruction (proverb 14:12). So I have to obey God (1 Samuel 15:22). Obedience is better than sacrifice. One thing I always do even against my own personal wish, is follow God’s commandment. It’s hard but it gets easier with time. Like everything else in life, (“na to start na im hard pass” –meaning that things are more difficult to begin with) but constant practice leads to perfection. If you resolve today to hold no grudge and start making peace with others,before long it will become second nature. Do you know what the best part is? You will be doing God’s will! So today, let our prayer be – God teach us how to forgive all around us, you gave us the ultimate example on the cross, and you asked God to forgive us as we know not what we do. Help us to realise that those who wrong us know not what they do and so deserve our forgiveness in Jesus name, amen. Please make peace with someone today. I know by God’s grace that as you read this piece, the names of those who have wronged you or those you have wronged might spring to your mind. Don’t ignore the urge to make peace, stop holding on to the pain they caused. Take the first step, make that call, and find that person. We all join you in prayers; let Jesus do the rest as he is a man of peace. If you let him, he will pour his peace into your life today and always.  I leave you with a quote by Charlotte Bronte which my father taught me when I was little – “life appears to me to be too short to be spent in registering wrongs and nursing animosity”. Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this article, then trust me… you will love my meditations too! Look here to see them. Photo credit: Pixabay.

The Dilemma of forgiveness



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There is indeed no use wasting time thinking what life has made you become. The past is in the past, the present is now and you can do something about it especially things that are within your control. The future remains unforeseen and we only hope it turns out in our favour. The uncertainties in life mean that nobody can claim complete mastery of it. We just have to keep up the daily struggle that is, for those who are able mentally and physically. We all have our individual idiosyncrasies and sincerely speaking, our paths in life are tailored towards different directions leading to our individual destinations. For me, the past three years have been a mission that only God has been my fortress. The waves and tides of life have tossed me up and down but my resilience has seen me through it all. I am the eldest of a family of four. My other siblings are all married and supposedly happy with kids and affluence. My parents to the glory of God are still alive and kicking. My relationship with Stanley was known to all in my locality, we both graduated from the university the same year but we were posted to different states to complete the compulsory one year national youth service corps. I was in the south precisely Ebonyi state while Stanley was posted to Zamfara state up north were the sun showed no mercy to the inhabitants. Distance did not hinder the love we had as we inter visited during the service year. Four months to the end of service year, Stanley visited and announced he would be with me till some weeks to “passing -out”. I was overjoyed but at the same time concerned as to how he could pull this off knowing how strict the zonal coordinator in his place of service was.  Stanley simply asked me to calm down that all was sorted before he left Zamfara. It was the best time in my life… We went to the pictures, shopped, clubbed, quarrelled and made up with hot sex! Three months flew by so quickly. I was so happy and did not want the fairytale to end. Stanley preferred to stay indoors a lot. It was so sweet that we could not seem to have enough of each other. However, I woke up very worried so I had told Stanley that I was feeling unwell. The truth was that my period was late. We had thrown caution into the air. I could not blame Stanley totally but…my thoughts were cut short because all I could think of was how to leave the house to get some pregnancy test strips to confirm. There was no need to worry him. That windy evening as I was on my way back from the pharmacy, I bumped into Ezekiel. Ezekiel was Stanley’s friend who had recently gone AWOL. It was definitely lovely to see him. As I approached him, he wore a sombre expression. “It’s so good to see you looking strong “, he said embracing me tightly. “How do you mean?”, I asked puzzled. He met my gaze with a surprised look. His next words confused me. “Stanley died in an auto crash on his way back to Zamfara from home”, he said. I burst into laughter. It was the most ridiculous thing ever. “Are you ok? I asked wondering if he was drunk. “I left Stanley in my room and he has been here for the past three months”. I added. The look in his eyes was scary. “That can’t be possible” he screamed. “I attended his funeral personally and assumed your absence to be down to grief”, he blurted. I felt like punching Ezekiel really hard. He was speaking out of character. He was either drunk or sick himself. Stanley was in my room and only stayed back because I tricked him. I felt I had to buy my pregnancy test kit on my own. It was all a bit awkward. I decided to take the silly Ezekiel along with me to prove his craze. This was certainly an expensive joke. We got to the room and it was locked from outside as instructed by Stanley because he didn’t want any disturbance from my neighbours. Stanley was nowhere to be found when I opened the door. It felt a bit eerie when I walked in. I looked around the room but he wasn’t there. His bags were gone, his slippers where not on the doormat. I checked the bathroom and even his towel was gone…gone! There was no trace of him. I was shaking all over and screaming hard. There was just nothing. I was downcast. I sank into my puff. It all made no sense. Buzzzzz! My mobile phone began to ring. It was my mum. I picked it up and she was telling me to be strong because she had some news…. “It’s not true … don’t say it mum” I cried, interrupting her. “Is Stanley really dead?” I was weeping like a baby now. It was then that I felt his hands. He held me close. I turned around but Ezekiel was still standing by the door where I left him. Shhhhh…..Shhhh…. he whispered. I relaxed into the puff and my phone fell beside me but I could still hear my mum. Her voice pierced through the quietness in the room. Very softly….very distant … but very definite. “Yes baby, Yes…I am so sorry. His mum just left.” Mum said. “Are you still there?” mum asked I was whimpering. The sorrow hit me hard. It all did not make sense. I shut my eyes and I was in his arms again. It was warm. It made me smile but I knew I had to be strong. He was gone… I began to cry hysterically as the realisation hit me. I cried….mum could hear me. “Sorry baby…are you going to be ok, or will you come home?” mum asked. I just cried…. I woke up […]

A day never to be forgotten… The day my cookies crumbled!!!!


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My relationship with Flora started sixteen months ago. I was initially troubled about this whole idea but at the same time eager to keep it secret from my wife and three grown children. The relationship blossomed beyond my imaginations and i wholeheartedly looked forward to our meetings with much gusto!! Flora my midnight lover is the sweetest thing after lollipop. The love we shared was equal to none. It never lacked a spark. Poppy-love  is a speck when compared with the undiluted love between Flora and yours truly. We had memorable moments anytime i had her in my mouth. I kept Flora away from the reach of unwanted adversaries (my wife and kids). I made sure her ambience lacked nothing. She has been my everyday solace and escape from this hot planet set on fire by humans.  No day has elapsed without me having a taste of her ever since i met her at the shops in the ever busy Trident mall in Cardiff. Sadly, our love went sour last night when i came back from work. There had been a power failure all day and nobody was around to have it fixed. Flora had lost her cool and wasn’t in any mood to cheer me up.I couldn’t have her that night as a result and that made me sick. To be frank, i was miserable all evening resulting in me having nightmares when i finally slept. I reached for Flora in my dreams to no avail. I was shattered , cried all through the moments of rejection in the dream and woke up sweating profusely. As i opened my eyes today, i prayed and vowed to always keep her sweet at all cost. I rushed to the secret room we shared only to find that Jonathan my nephhew was all over Flora.. I almost exploded with rage but held my steam as he explained the whole room was smelling when he walked in and had to empty my Flora yogurt in the bin….. Dr Love as we all call him is one of our WH writers. He is a professional by day and clutches his pen and paper by night… Thanks for reading. Do you know that you can now submit a post like this? To find out how, click here. Perhaps you fancy reading from others in the community? Find other articles here. Thank you Photo credit; Pixabay

Flora my midnight lover… By Dr Love Asiok



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I wish I could take all the pain, all the hurt, all the struggles you have all been through all this time. I wish I could wipe it all away and make everything okay I wish I could tap you, wake you up and then we will all be happy that it was all a dream. But my love it is real, so real it hurts so bad. I can’t do that- make it go away as much as that is all I want to do. What I can do though is take your hand in mine and sit right here beside you. Although I am miles away I will do my best to be here for you as best as I can. What I can do is be here for you and ask you to let me know what you want me to do What I can do is pray for you and all the family especially during this trying time. What I can do is stand by you and make you know that I care too. This life is a puzzle with more questions than answers. It is ok to feel relieved by the knowledge that she is now gone, now free, now at peace It is ok to know that she has no more pain and she is now at rest It is ok to be reassured that because she lived a good life, she must be now resting with our lord It is ok to lay awake at night in tears and only long for her It is ok to wonder where she is now and if she is fine there It is ok to wish you could see her one last time to tell her how much you love her But one thing is sure she knows and never doubted how much you all cared for her She is not alone but in a better place where she can soar like an eagle Though you are far from her, she is in a better place where nothing can hold her back. Though we can’t see her now, she is waiting for us until we are all reunited with her never to be parted again Though she was weak and frail, she is now beautiful again. She is now stronger than she ever was. She is now our angel interceding especially for us all What we can do now is remember her as she was. What we have now are all the memories of her from the first time we set our eyes on her and felt her warmth to the moment    we said goodbye. Keep in mind that when the ones we love answer the sweet call. They are set free. No longer   trapped in a body, in a place or restricted by time. So we can carry them around with us in our hearts and never be far away from them. Let us not dwell mainly on all her pain and tears (though we will never lose sight of them). Let us at this time remember all her laughter, all her achievements, all her successes, all her struggles ,all her joys. Let us not only remember the pictures of her that were the most recent ones Let us not only dwell on the pain we could not save her from. Let us not only remember the things that make us cry. We will celebrate her life in total. Let us flick through the album that was her whole life….every day, every moment both those we shared with her and those she had by herself I cannot imagine the way you all feel now. But I can assure you that it will get better. There will be smiles again in your home when you think about her. Time will make everything better for you all. Try not to drown in this grief as large and as deep as it is. Don’t suffer alone… Let   those you love in. They only want to help. The only want to be there for you in the way they can. They may not always get it right but at least let them try. It is true that we all may not know how you feel but it doesn’t stop us all caring. If you reach out we will be here to catch you, to hold you. But we too on our part will let you work through your emotions and feelings the best way that you can. Only know that I am here if you need me. God will bless and console you during this difficult time. May her beautiful soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God Rest in Peace….. Amen Thank you for reading. You may also enjoy some of my musings here Photo credit: Pixabay  

Take heart my love…