There is indeed no use wasting time thinking what life has made you become. The past is in the past, the present is now and you can do something about it especially things that are within your control. The future remains unforeseen and we only hope it turns out in our favour. The uncertainties in life mean that nobody can claim complete mastery of it. We just have to keep up the daily struggle that is, for those who are able mentally and physically.
We all have our individual idiosyncrasies and sincerely speaking, our paths in life are tailored towards different directions leading to our individual destinations.
For me, the past three years have been a mission that only God has been my fortress. The waves and tides of life have tossed me up and down but my resilience has seen me through it all.
I am the eldest of a family of four. My other siblings are all married and supposedly happy with kids and affluence. My parents to the glory of God are still alive and kicking.
My relationship with Stanley was known to all in my locality, we both graduated from the university the same year but we were posted to different states to complete the compulsory one year national youth service corps. I was in the south precisely Ebonyi state while Stanley was posted to Zamfara state up north were the sun showed no mercy to the inhabitants.
Distance did not hinder the love we had as we inter visited during the service year. Four months to the end of service year, Stanley visited and announced he would be with me till some weeks to “passing -out”. I was overjoyed but at the same time concerned as to how he could pull this off knowing how strict the zonal coordinator in his place of service was. Stanley simply asked me to calm down that all was sorted before he left Zamfara.
It was the best time in my life…
We went to the pictures, shopped, clubbed, quarrelled and made up with hot sex! Three months flew by so quickly. I was so happy and did not want the fairytale to end.
Stanley preferred to stay indoors a lot. It was so sweet that we could not seem to have enough of each other. However, I woke up very worried so I had told Stanley that I was feeling unwell. The truth was that my period was late. We had thrown caution into the air. I could not blame Stanley totally but…my thoughts were cut short because all I could think of was how to leave the house to get some pregnancy test strips to confirm. There was no need to worry him.
That windy evening as I was on my way back from the pharmacy, I bumped into Ezekiel. Ezekiel was Stanley’s friend who had recently gone AWOL. It was definitely lovely to see him. As I approached him, he wore a sombre expression.
“It’s so good to see you looking strong “, he said embracing me tightly.
“How do you mean?”, I asked puzzled.
He met my gaze with a surprised look. His next words confused me.
“Stanley died in an auto crash on his way back to Zamfara from home”, he said.
I burst into laughter. It was the most ridiculous thing ever.
“Are you ok? I asked wondering if he was drunk.
“I left Stanley in my room and he has been here for the past three months”. I added.
The look in his eyes was scary.
“That can’t be possible” he screamed.
“I attended his funeral personally and assumed your absence to be down to grief”, he blurted.
I felt like punching Ezekiel really hard. He was speaking out of character. He was either drunk or sick himself. Stanley was in my room and only stayed back because I tricked him. I felt I had to buy my pregnancy test kit on my own. It was all a bit awkward. I decided to take the silly Ezekiel along with me to prove his craze. This was certainly an expensive joke. We got to the room and it was locked from outside as instructed by Stanley because he didn’t want any disturbance from my neighbours.
Stanley was nowhere to be found when I opened the door. It felt a bit eerie when I walked in. I looked around the room but he wasn’t there. His bags were gone, his slippers where not on the doormat. I checked the bathroom and even his towel was gone…gone! There was no trace of him. I was shaking all over and screaming hard. There was just nothing.
I was downcast. I sank into my puff. It all made no sense.
My mobile phone began to ring. It was my mum. I picked it up and she was telling me to be strong because she had some news….
“It’s not true … don’t say it mum” I cried, interrupting her.
“Is Stanley really dead?” I was weeping like a baby now. It was then that I felt his hands. He held me close. I turned around but Ezekiel was still standing by the door where I left him.
Shhhhh…..Shhhh…. he whispered.
I relaxed into the puff and my phone fell beside me but I could still hear my mum. Her voice pierced through the quietness in the room. Very softly….very distant … but very definite.
“Yes baby, Yes…I am so sorry. His mum just left.” Mum said.
“Are you still there?” mum asked
I was whimpering. The sorrow hit me hard. It all did not make sense. I shut my eyes and I was in his arms again. It was warm. It made me smile but I knew I had to be strong.
He was gone…
I began to cry hysterically as the realisation hit me.
I cried….mum could hear me.
“Sorry baby…are you going to be ok, or will you come home?” mum asked.
I just cried….
I woke up in the hospital and since then my life was never the same. I had been extremely unwell since being back home but mum being mum insisted I went to the hospital. The doctor left me with an even more outstanding news.
“Congratulations…you are pregnant. 6 weeks”, he said.
“Onochie….”, I whispered, putting my hand on my belly as I sat up smiling.
It was 3 weeks after I found out that Stanley passed away. Even though I did not understand it all…I was still overjoyed.
Onochie is the reason I live. I was never able to love another like I loved Stanley. Today was Onochie’s wedding day and as I retired into my cosy bed for the night, I remembered Stanley. He was my all…
Thank you for reading.
Dr Love as we like to call him is one of our WH writers. He is a professional by day and clutches his pen and paper by night.
Photo credit: Pixabay